Your Own Worst Enemy

Life has many ups and downs, along with twists and turns. We often
face situations that push us and try us to the point of exhaustion.

A few nights ago, I was woken up by my ten-year-old daughter who has been
having a hard time staying asleep at night. Once I gave her something to cuddle,
a drink, and another hug/kiss, I went back to my room and laid down. While I was
laying there, I quietly listened to my husband's heaving breathing, which was followed
by our son's heavy breathing. I wasn't able to fall back to sleep since I had been woken up
several times throughout the night by both kids. I decided to lay there and ponder with my thoughts. I seriously hate when this happens because then I happen to think of all the hurtful conversations, hurtful events, and the ongoing hurt from them. I think of ways
I should have responded or I think of the things I should have said. There have even
been times where the anger flared back up and sleep was pointless. My brain likes to push
the repeat button on these memories, which lead to my heart racing and me fighting not to wake up
my husband to talk. Yes, most of these memories are of unsettling events between us within the previous twelve years. 

This endless cycle made me realize something. The only reason why this spiritual battle keeps

occurring is because I have a hard time with letting go. I have a hard time just letting things lay to rest when these issues haven't been sorted through; they had been hushed and swept under the rug. I'm the type of person who needs to talk through my feelings on anything that I feel is wrong. If not, I pay for it because my mind goes through an endless amount of torture for me. Yes, my mind causes me pain. I allowed this to happen for so long.

Anway, there I was at four in the morning, laying in bed while fighting back tears while my heart

raced and my anxiety heightened. All the wronged that I had endured flooded through my veins, making my temper rise. The spiritual battle in full force.

That's how the enemy works. He will wait until he can catch you off guard so he can haunt you with all those unsettled situations that still bother your soul. Most of these nights, I cried in silence to be sure I didn't wake my family. The lies flooded my mind making me believe that I was destined to never feel true happiness because I always had these unsettled issues to be worked. 

On this particular night, I decided to head out of the bedroom. I joined my overly fluffy white cat, who was sprawled out on the sofa. By this point, the thoughts of my mind had me in a nauseating point of hurt because of all the unfinished business; the conversations that hadn't been. There I sat, thinking, hurting. Deep inside, my spirit wanted freedom and healing. However, my heart and mind wouldn't allow that because they continued to listen to Satan's lies. 

That's when I silently cried out to the Lord while looking out the window behind my couch. As I stared at the silence outside, I asked the Lord for help. I wanted to be free from the hurt, lies, deception, and pain. I asked the Lord to take control, I didn't want the job of me anymore. 

Once I did this, I learned a bit about what was happening. As I threw myself into this cycle, I never gave God the option of stepping in and fighting this for me. I was blocking myself from my own blessing. I've learned that in order for God to gain control, we have to be willing to lay it down and walk away so He can pick it up.  How can the Lord take over when we continually laid it down for a little bit and then pick it back up? If the issues are being held by us, we aren't giving God the room He needs. We need to put it down completely, turn, and walk away. No going back.

****

Are you willing to give your situation to God and allow Him to work it out through His power and authority?

Idea's for keeping a journal...

I'm a BIG fan of journaling. 

You could say that I collect them just to have, but

sometimes I actually USE them for their intended purpose.

If you've been following me and what I do... then you know I'm

a writer/author by trade.

Yes, I'm serious...

No, really...

Look me up on Amazon.... 

See... 

Told ya... LOL

Anyway, as an author I know and have heard many times while

I write Heavenly Realities: Stumbling toward Gratitude ... 

"Oh, I can't write in a journal. I'm not cut out for it like you."

OR

"I don't have the time."

I'm here to tell you...

Yes, you can and yes, you do!!

Over time I have realized that my biggest road block in writing

is not knowing what to write. Well, that is one reason why I decided to write 

Stumbling Toward Gratitude and this very post.

See, I'm going to share with you the ways I've used my own journals so you can

start one of your own. I can honestly say it's the best thing I have ever done!

When I take

the time to journal,
I'm giving myself the gift of me time.
I'm allowing myself a chance to breathe and just be.
I dedicate a half an hour before I laid down each night
to writing in my journal. This helps wind down and
it gives me a clear heart before bed.

Therefore, I decided to give you some of the same
ideas so you can take some time for yourself.

So here we go...

****

1. Prayers

We often have such a busy schedule and
a good bit of the time we don't set aside time for God. By keeping a prayer journal that
we devote our time to, we are giving ourselves time with God.

2. Gratitude

With a gratitude journal, write down three things
that you are grateful for that happened during that day.
(Check out Stumbling toward Gratitude to help you
with writing prompts.)

3. Praise Journal
(One of my favs)

In addition to gratitude, we can write down
the positive things that happened during the day.
This is a good way to focus on the good and not
the bad. 

****

I hope these ideas help you and you'll consider doing something for yourself and starting a journal. In our busy lives, we deserve the down time.

***
How else might you consider using a journal?

Like a Child...

Parenting is a mission that many are selected to do. It's a forever mission appointed by God. As parents, we are qualified to do His bidding. We are to be the light that shines through the dark so our children can find their way. We are to speak and teach the truth. But our most important job within parenting is to pray for our children.

Over the past ten years of my parenting journey, I remember feeling like a failure when it came to my kids. At times, I even feel this way today. My oldest seems to always want her life to revolve around electronics and when she's glued to her Kindle, her attitude sucks. At one time, I felt like I failed, like my body failed when I lost my daughter in the womb and she was stillborn. I have even felt like a failure with my currently two-year-old son because he's not where the doctors believe he should be when it comes to talking.

God has spoken to me on numerous occasions in the most unexpected ways. He told me that He understands what it feels like to lose a child and gain one at the same time. I was confused by this and it took me three years to understand. He lost His child to sin but gained Him by the cross. 

He told me He understands my pain when it comes to the broken relationship that I have with my oldest. I have had the hardest time trying to connect with my daughter as she gets older. Our interests aren't the same. She loves dinosaurs and I'm clueless about them. She enjoys Pokemon and I don't even know where to begin. She hates doing her hair and I love it. She's not interested in makeup but I enjoy it. We are very different. I keep reaching out and she keeps pushing away. I try to teach her the right ways to go and it seems to flow in one ear and out the other. I try to guide, protect, and love her to the best of my ability, but she won't have any of it. 

Does this sound familiar?

Now, let me explain how God understands what I am going through as a parent. He continually loves us. There isn't a sin in this world that will stand in between the love of God and His child (You). God has given us freedom, as I have done with my daughter, to choose our own way. He gives us the opportunity for us to show Him in return the love we have for Him. However, this doesn't stop Him from pursuing a relationship with us. Just as I have done in the past with my daughter, God is doing it with us too. He reaches and we push away. He comforts and we blame Him. He wants to build a stronger relationship with us but we're nieve and think we can handle it on our own. We are His stubborn children.

Regardless of how much we push away, He's always there when the rough spots hit. That's when we seem to seek out His love, strength, and healing the most. But He wants more than that. He wants us ALL OF THE TIME. He will continue to pursue us because He knows we are worth it. He knows the ways He can teach us. He knows how He can or will use these to teach us about Himself so we can get to know Him better. He knows the ways to make us more like Him by growing the fruit of the Spirit within our hearts. We just need to open up to Him and allow Him to work. 

This is especially true when it comes to our children too. Once we fully submit to God, we can focus on our children and teach them of the love of Christ. We can trust our children to Him through prayer and by building our relationship with Him. 

He's here.

He's waiting.

Do you accept?

Come Sit. Let's talk....

Grab a cup of coffee and stay awhile. 

❤️

I have something to tell you. 

I'm talking to you.

The Mom who is stressed and depressed.

The one who tries so hard but feels like you failed.

The one who has puffy eyes with dark circles around them.

The one with spit up covering your last clean shirt.

The one who fights daily to get your child(ren) up and off to school.

The one who battles the "know it all" attitude.

I'm talking to ALL mothers at every stage of parenting.

❤️❤️❤️

This message is an important one and I pray you open your heart to receive it!

Motherhood is very rewarding and most of the time, it's a journey where Mom's wonder if they're doing this parenting thing right. At times, we lay in our beds after a very rewarding, yet stressful day, and wonder if we made any difference in our children's lives. Maybe you're worried about the news you just received and you're unsure of the steps you must take. Perhaps you feel that you need to be strong because it's the only choice you have. Maybe, you're laying in bed going over the list of things that you didn't get done or of the upsetting situation that occurred only hours before.

Can I tell you something? What if I told you that none of this matters? What if I told you that you're doing exactly the right thing and that you don't need to stress about it? 

You see life is full of its own challenges. These small bumps in the road are only meant to build you up for the greatness God has in store for you. Each one of our stories are the same, yet they're different. Motherhood has such a vast array of obstacles in it and sometimes we find ourselves comparing our parenting skills with those around us or we find ourselves weakened by these obstacles which make it hard for us to believe that we're on the right track. However, all these negative thoughts hinder all the beautiful things that we did accomplish and they overshadow the best moments.

Take a moment. Push aside any negative thought you have that are clouding your mind. Allow God to show you the moments where you made a difference in your child(ren) life/lives. I'm sure you're weakened spirit is at a weary moment right now. Maybe the beautiful moment I am referring to is that moment where your toddler stopped in mid run to turn to you for a slobbery kiss and big hug. Maybe it's that moment where your child ran into the house from the bus ready to show you all of the studying you helped with paid off with a high test score. Maybe it's the college acceptance letter that arrived in the mail. These are the blessings I want you to see and remember.

We all feel like we've messed up somewhere along the way but let me assure you...YOU ARE DOING GREAT! The enemy is whispering all these lies in your ears and I want you to know that his goal is to steal your joy. He wants you to focus on those areas in life where you feel defeated, broken, and anxious. He wants you beating yourself up because your toddler ate the crayon before you noticed. He wants you constantly feeling bad for forgetting the school lunch during a trying morning with the kids. He wants you to feel like you failed because your teen has an attitude problem and is facing hardships that only adults should be enduring.

STOP THOSE LIES IN THEIR TRACKS!

Let me tell you this....

You are worthy.

You are smart.

You are strong.

You are amazing.

You are not a failure.

You are A MOTHER!

❤️

Being a mother is such a blessing. From this moment on, I want you to focus on the part of life where you succeed and stop focusing on the "mess ups". Stop looking for the unfinished tasks from the day because you have done everything God needed you to do. He guides and gives. He loves and forgives. Therefore, you need to forgive yourself. 

You are the daughter of a King and you are worth far more than rubies. Hold your head up. Praise God for the joys of motherhood and ask Him to guide you in your moments of weakness. With Him, all things are possible. Therefore, don't shy away from Him but run into His waiting arms to be embraced by His love, strength, and grace.

Daily Inspirationals??

I know I've been slacking on this blog lately. However, I believe I have found my way again and believe that I know what I want for this blog. So, check back daily for your dose of inspiration. I pray that each message I share here will touch the lives of many and encourage each person who reads them.

You can subscribe to my blog to receive these daily messages in your inbox for your convenience. As they are posted, you'll be emailed. :)

Also, stay up to date on my current book news by checking me out on Facebook or on my website.

My Absence

I want to apologize for not keeping up on this blog as much as I would like. Life has me super busy writing and taking care of the family. If you'd like to stay up to speed with me, please seek me out on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/raebethbuda/  This is my book page where I update it several times a day. Once I get a bit more organized here at the home front, I'll start writing here again. 

Feel free to share any article you read and enjoy!!

Parenting as a Christian Mom

Since I was a little girl, I always dreamed of being a Mom. I loved the idea of the bottles, diapers, and dressing the baby. I loved the idea of cuddles, kisses, and hugs. The idea I had as a mother was way less than what it turned out to be. My daughter is completely different than I had imagined. I envisioned this little girl who would play dress up with my shoes and makeup and would love baby dolls and Barbie dolls. Instead, she'd rather play with bugs and learn about dinosaurs. She is very emotional and is head strong. However, I wouldn't chance her for a second. My son loves to make people laugh, cars are his favorite, and he's a Momma's boy. 

Most of all, I wanted to teach them about life and the love of Jesus. Each one got an age-appropriate Bible the day they were born, which they played with. I read them stories out of each book. We prayed before each meal and before bed. However, I never taught them to REALLY pray. 

Parenting has a lot to do with prayer. I find myself seeking guidance for the Lord through prayer quite a bit when it comes to my children. As a parent, we want the best for our children so what better way to do it than by going to the Most High and asking for His guidance? Our greatest times as a parent happens when we are on our knees; open and honest. 

What exactly do we pray for when it comes to our children?

I'm going to share with you... my list of powerful verses I pray when I'm praying for my children. Feel free to use them too for your prayers. 

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I pray for strength. In a tough world where things aren't so godly, our children need the strength to face it and deal with each issue. So, I pray the Lord will provide strength to them throughout their day. (I can do all things through him who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13)

I pray for courage. It's a scary world out there and things seem a bit crazy. This world can certainly have us cowering in the corner. I want my children to go at life head-on. Ready to tackle anything that comes their way and they can do this through Christ. (Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. ~ Joshua 1:9)

I pray for peace. In a world of war, our children need a sense of peace in their hearts. I don't want my child anxious and fearful because of the events going on around us. (Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ~ Philippians 4:6)

I pray for procurement. I ask God to provide them with everything they need each day. This would help them to not fear for the future and look at it with hope. (And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19)

I pray for direction. I pray for the Lord to guide each thought and decision they make. I want them to make godly decisions for their lives as they get older and I want them to be able to make healthy decisions that will benefit their futures. (Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6)

I pray for protection. I ask God to protect my kids from all harm that may come their way. I've lost one child and I pray that God keeps them safe and allows me to parent them (earthside) for many more years to come. (He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Psalm 9:1-2)

I pray for joy. I want my children to feel the type of joy that only comes from the Lord. This type of joy is one I love feeling and knowing my children are filled with it is a blessing. (You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. ~ Psalm 16:11)

I pray for compassion. In a world where compassion is lacking, I want my children to be the ones who allows Christ to shine through when their showing love and compassion. I want them to always focus on the needs of others, in addition to their own. (Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:32)

I pray for justice. I want to be sure that my children will stand up for what is right. Even if that means their standing alone. I want them to stand up and defend those who can't do it for themselves and seek the right ways in all situations. (Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. ~ Isaiah 1:17)

I pray for wisdom. I want them to have the smarts to know which decisions are in the best interest of them. I want them to always choose what is right. (If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ~ James 1:5)

I pray for hope. I want them to have the type of hope that exceeds the kind we have on earth. I want them to have heavenly hope that only God can give them. (May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. ~ Romans 15:13)

I pray for love. I ask for them to be filled with the love of Christ so that they can go out into the world and show others what godly love really is. (Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ~ 2 Corinthians 13)

What are some of the things you pray for your children?