The Uncomfortable Truth

Trust & Forgiveness

My biggest struggles in life right now.

A lot has happened to get me to the point in my life where

I struggle to forgive this particular person. You see.. when I thought I 

had forgiven them, something came up to show me that this person wasn't being the person

they were putting off. They would repeatedly do the exact things to hurt me, yet expect

me to continually forgive them..

... and I did because what kind of Christian would I be if I didn't forgive those

who has wrong me like Christ forgave those who wronged him? 

At times, I feel as if these feelings were going to consume me; leaving me unable to trust

fully once again. A lot of the time, I found myself living these past struggles, instead of enjoying 

the here and now. I couldn't help it though. 

The thought of this person being in these situations.. doing the things they did... replay in my mind 

like a movie I never intended to see. I often wonder if the words of encouragement, love, and endearment are real or if they're just a cover for more things going wrong. I struggled to set boundaries for myself; telling myself to let go. I remembered thinking that if I could just forgive...then I could move on. Then I wondered if it were pointless or worth saving.

I am often faced with the dilemma of... "Is it time to walk away to save me?" When is it okay to stop the hurt and say that it's enough?

Apology after apology.

Wrongdoing after wrongdoing.

Lies.

Deceit.

Secrets.

It's like a never-ending cycle. 

I can't make them change, regardless of how much I desire for them to do so. I try to talk with them, so they know the way I feel. This goes either one of two ways...

1. They never have anything to say....

OR

2. Their actions are a result of my inaction.

Then, I feel like I hit a brick wall.... again.

Communication halted.

A few days pass...

and we go on like nothing happened.

Everything was swept under the rug.

Except now...

now I am expected to carry on while carrying 

the hurt, anger, and pain.  

Never seems as if the cycle will end...

... unless....

I walk away.

Walking away....

the thought hurts and questions take over.

My heart aches thinking about it

but I know I have a choice to make.

They say history repeats itself...

... does this pertain to relationships?

If only they would fully open up and talk.

Put into action the words that they speak.

Show love...ALL the time. Not for a week and then go right back.

- Anonymous 

Being Content With What You Have

When we try to live beyond our means and keep up with the latest things, we often set ourselves up for disappointment and un-contentment within life. I've witnessed people complain about the things within their lives when they are comparing it to the lives of others. Especially when it comes to relationships. It's not about what we don't have. It's about being grateful for the things we DO have. 

We have a tendency to get wrapped up in social media. This is a big source that feeds our discontentment. We sit by day-after-day and watch others share their lives through posts, pictures,

and updates. Most of the time, it's all just a show. No one is really that happy... right? However, that's not always true. True happiness isn't found by sharing what we wish we had or what we want. It's by showing gratitude for what we have. We allow the outlook appearances of others to shave away pieces of our happiness over time. 

Let me tell you a story:

Meet Jen. She's a successful woman who has an awesome sense of style. Her hair and makeup are totally on point. She always appears to have her stuff in order. When she shares pictures on her social media through the day, the happiness radiates from her. Her photos show that she spends a lot of time shopping and going out on the weekends. Sounds like a good life... right?

What you don't see is the nights where Jen cries herself to sleep from the lack of that someone special. What you don't see is her overworking herself so she doesn't have the dead silence of the night getting to her. What you don't see is her complete discontent for the lack of people who truly care.

Now I want to introduce Mandy. She's a mother of three and stays at home to take care of the kids. Her husband works odd hours. When she posts on her social media, she shares different accomplishments her children have mastered or the new recipe she found. She's constantly sharing different posts about her husband and her love for Jesus. However, in most of the photos she shares, you see her hair is a mess, she's wearing yesterday's makeup, and she's usually in her comfy clothes that have food stains on them from her two-year-old. Occasionally you'll see her husband post a sweet message to his wife for all that she does for the family and how much he appreciates it.

What you don't see is how overwhelmed Mandy is but loves every minute of it. What you don't see is the family meals at night and thanks being given to the Lord for providing the meal. What you don't see is the hugs and kisses which warm her heart. What you don't see is the love of having a full house and no time for herself. 

****

Honestly, we don't need it all. Most times, we need only what the Lord has provided for us. It may seem as if Jen has it all but in reality loneliness is a overbearing part of life. Mandy's life may seem like it's overwhelming and chaotic but it's full of life's biggest blessings. The moral of these stories are for us to stop comparing what we see online and start focusing on what's in front of us. Our blessings come in forms most of us take for granted. Our happiness is a moment to moment choice that we have.

 Are you going to chose happiness?

Letter To My Husband – Couldn’t Be More Thankful!

Greg,

 

I want you to know that being your wife has been one of the greatest gift God has ever given me. Not only because of how happy you make me, not because of the wonderful ways in which you love me, but because of WHO YOU ARE. You are defined by kindness, trust, and commitment. Those aren’t things you have to strive for, those are things that come so easy to you because they are written on your heart and are a part of your very soul. There aren’t enough words to express how thankful I am that I get to be the person you share your life with. You chose me at a time when I was so low. God knew what He was doing when He gave you to me. He knew you would be everything I ever needed and more.

I stop and think about all the memories we've made, the good times and the bad that we've shared, and the love between us keeps growing. You are not only my husband, but my best friend and soul mate. You are a blessing from above - one that I do not take for granted. I thank you for all the things  you've done for me and the kids. Not only are you a wonderful husband, you're a terrific father, provider and caregiver. You give so freely to all those you know in such a loving way. Your generosity is inspiring! I love you more than words, more than life. I'm forever grateful for your love and proud to be your wife. 

I want you to know that I am thankful for all the work that you do! I know you are working so much where we barely see each other, but I know you are providing the best way you know how for our family...so thank you! Thank you for being such a hard worker. You are doing such a great job of balancing work while getting us into our new home.

Seeing you work so hard has really made me fall in love with you all over again! I guess it’s because you’re so passionate about the things that you do I can’t help but love you more and more.  I love just hanging out with you! I love knowing that we can do get time together, we have fun, laugh together and we don't take things too seriously!

I am so thankful that Jesus brought us together and is what makes our marriage work. Keep loving Jesus and we’ll always be right where we are supposed to be! I love the way you keep going after what God has called you to and look forward to the many adventures that come with that perseverance. I’m ready to follow you wherever God leads you!

I love you because every day you are trying to get to know me better and in the midst of that I get to know you better. I love how you cuddle me every night so that I can sleep. I love the fact that you are always thinking about me. I love that most days you come home and the first thing you do is greet our precious children. I love that you listen to me and that you really do appreciate my feedback and point of view, even if you're not showing it by words. I love that you challenge me to be better at the things that I enjoy doing and how you push me to get better at the things I’m not too good at.

I love that you love me. I absolutely love seeing you with kids (and have come to accept the fact that they love you more than they love me)! There is a special side of you that comes out when you’re in the presence of our babies. It’s like you’re more in tune with them and I know that you are a magnificent father!

I love your hear. I love your strength. I love your determination. I love the fact that you know so much about so many things. I love that you are such a kid at times. I love the fact that you are an honest man. I love that you fight for our marriages because I know that I will always be fighting for it! I love that divorce is NOT an option and that there will never be a reason to think that it is! I love that we make our own traditions. I love that we are good at road-trips and we both like to travel to new places!

I look forward to our lives together for many, many more years. I promise to always love you, even when I may not like you. I promise to try to do everything without complaining. I promise to always think of you first and to honor, respect, and pray for you. I love you and am so thankful that God made a way for us to be together!  Thank you for being my knight in shining armor and treating me like a princess. Thank you for supporting me and praying for me and for being a FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY better husband than I could ever have imagined! I love being your wife and always will!

 Loved By Me Always,

Your Wife- RaeBeth

This is what true love looks like!!!

Still in Disbelief- Disrespect as it's MAX

One thing that I have been boiling over and can't seem to let go is when a man allows his best friend to openly disrespect his wife! Yep, you read that right. I am that woman who was recently disrespected by my husbands best friend. Every marriage will have it's ups and downs! I feel that if a man loves his wife, he'd do everything to protect her. He would NEVER allow someone to do this. 

My husband and I were having a typical argument within our marriage. Things were said that we didn't mean. It even came close to one of us leaving. However, this didn't concern my husbands best friend. 

On the 9th of November, I was getting my son ready for church when I got these messages from my husbands best friend:

Let me explain what is being talked about: This friend (which I'm going to name Donkey) needed a ride to pick up his car in another state about an hour away. My husband did not tell me that he agreed to help until just a few minutes before Donkey showed up. I had made plans with Sunshine for the day where she'd be able to spend it with her Daddy. Needless to say, that didn't happen. Not only that but Hubby left here and forgot some VERY important things that I needed for the kids. Of course this didn't leave me happy.

Now, as for the kids. Up to this point, I felt as if my Husband didn't want our marriage any longer. However, this wasn't anyone's concern, except for ours. We have had fights before and my emergency plan is to go to my Mothers. Of course I would take my children with me because their father couldn't have them with the way he works. He works too much to give them the proper attention. Where this is Donkey's business??? Beats me! 

Needless to say I followed his advice and removed any and ALL contact I had with him. Not only was he supposed to be my husbands friend, he was supposed to be mine as well. Here I am thinking I am being a friend to him when I am keeping a secret of his. She's pregnant after a miscarriage, so I didn't want to add any more stress to her. 

When I addressed this situation with Hubby, he told me that Donkey was allowed to have his own opinion. He said that this was okay. WHAT!!! How in the world is it okay for him to talk to me like that? I'm writing this post because it hurts me. To this day, Hubby still talks to Donkey like nothing happened, all the while I'm still hurting over what was said.

1. I am a very loving and caring person. Example: I opened my home to Donkey on multiple occasions when he had no where else to go.

2. Sorry, Sir but it seems as if you have a thing for drama. If you truly knew me, you'd know that I am the type of person who avoids it at all costs. I have my own drama in my life... I don't need you adding to it. 

3. If you are going to tell me what my God thinks of me... perhaps you should get it right! Go read the Bible and then come talk to me. My God is a very forgiving God and doesn't hold a grudge. He knows that his people will have attacks on their marriages from Satan. However, since we turned to the Lord once again, we are doing just fine.

Unintentional Hurt Husbands cause their Wife

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church" (Eph. 5:25).

Being married isn't easy. It's not the fairy tale you once believed as a child. There really isn't a happily ever after. Once two people become one, this is just the beginning. Marriage is a lot of work. I have been married for two years now and there has been a lot that has worked against my marriage. One thing is how my husband tends to indirectly hurt me without realizing it. I believe that many couples have these issues, therefore I am here today to put it out there for the husbands on how to better your marriage with your wife. The perfect marriage isn't out there, although we all would love that.

1. Cutting off in mid-sentence: Cutting her off while she is talking gives the appearance that you really aren't interested in what she has to say. It is disrespectful in all ways. When she's cut off, she may not voice it, but it really bugs her. Let her tell you her thoughts and LISTEN while she talks.


2. Corrects her when she's speaking: This could be cutting her off while she's talking because you've caught a mistake within whatever it is that she's talking about. It could also be finishes sentences when she's talking to someone. It can be speaking for her in the company of others. It's demeaning and can make her feel devalued when you present her to others.


3. Admires other women over her: She watches you and you're watching someone else. This makes her feel as if she doesn't catch your eye anymore. This can also lead into her thinking you may have been unfaithful, even though that may not be the case.


4. Act suspicious or secretive: Keeping your phone close at all times. Cleaning out every piece of you phone, examples are recent calls, text messages, internet history, etc. This makes her feel as if you're hiding something from her.

Another is walking away to talk on the phone and hanging up just as she walks into the room. Then she asks who it was...without realizing it you answer with an attitude. Again, this makes her feel as if you have something to hide

5 "I Don't Know": The ultimate answer to every question. This is one answer wives don't want to hear. If you're looking to start a fight or upset her, answer each question with it. When a husband answers with I don't know, they are giving the impression that they are not interested in what is being talked about or you just don't care. Try to give answers that contribute to the conversations. That way when you really don't know, you can say it and it won't come off as the above.


6. Not Standing Up: Under ALL circumstances, husbands should stand with their wife. No one should be able to openly disrespect your wife in ANY way. Yes, the entire world is entitled to their opinions, but when it's against your wife...stand by her. It doesn't matter if it's your best friend. Your wife's value is much more than a friend that can one day go away. No one should be able to openly disrespect your wife.


7. Keep Marriage problems within the marriage: Yes there is a difference between asking for advice or complaining. When you have an issue with your wife, talk to her about it. No one else should take her place. She's your other half and in the eyes of God, you are one. This just opens up the marriage for more problems.


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