I'm Back!!!!!

I know it's been a while since I have taken the time to write on this blog. Actually, it's been well over a year. So much has happened to me and I'm going to take a moment and catch everyone up with what I've been up to.

The last time I wrote, I told everyone that I had gotten married and we had a special Souvenir from the Pocono's.

So I'll start off with saying that I am now a mommy to two beautiful little girls. I'm an author of two books that's been published and I'm in the process of writing a third. My pregnancy was a roller coaster that ended in heartache. I'll touch base with that in another post.

But for now I just wanted to let you all know that I have returned. I won't be doing reviews or product giveaways on this blog. I'll be using this blog as my own personal online journal that I'm allowing the world to follow.

So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and relax while you enter the world that I have been forced to live in.

Emotional Basket Case

If you've been following along with my story, you know I recently got a full mouth of dentures. This process has been less then satisfying. I haven't wore them like I should. As a matter of fact, I really haven't worn them. Today's been the longest which has been six hours so far. I'm trying to keep them in until the adhesive gives.

At this point, most of the pain is gone. I was having bad pain with just placing them in my mouth. But I had an adjustment done yesterday. They feel a lot better. Although I think I may need to go back because I think they need to be adjusted again.

I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I want to look like myself again. But I feel I look different. Like weird, different. I was hoping for so much and I'm scared that I may be disappointed in the end. At this time, I really can't eat with them in.... and that's a shame because it's one of the reasons why I needed to get them. Even soft foods are difficult. In all honesty, it's really hard eating food you can't feel on the roof of your mouth. Drinking liquids aren't so hard. I've pretty much mastered that.

So, anyone with dentures....I have a question... How can I begin eating foods I love? I wanna eat a steak.. but have no idea how I'm going to get there.

Smile.... not so easy now.....But it will be!!

I didn't get to post yesterday because....... I got my dentures!!!! Man, this is different. I'm having mixed feelings about them. There nice and I like them. But the adjustment process may take me a while. I didn't keep them in all day yesterday. I had some bone shaved down in a spot which made it really sore. As of today, I've had them in so far for a half an hour. Which to some wouldn't sound like an accomplishment... but to those who know what I'm going through for the complete first day... each hour is an accomplishment that I'd love to celebrate. The first day is the hardest.

Man, I feel like I'm a Saint Bernard. I'm slobbering so much. (LOL) Yes, you can laugh because I am. The dentist said this is normal and will last about a month depending on my body. I'm trying not to use the adhesive right now. I plan on using it once I can wear the dentures all day. This way I'm not wasting the adhesive.

I haven't tried to eat with them yet. Not sure really how to do this one. I was told to start with soft foods and work my way up. I'm not sure if I'm ready to try eating with them yet. Like yesterday when I came home, I was thirsty. So, I grabbed something to drink... yeah... that didn't work out so well. The drink ended up all over me instead of in my mouth. I was like "WTF???" These were supposed to help. LOL Thank God it was a little bit of soda and not hot coffee. That could have been bad.

To give everyone an idea of the steps I went through.... here are some pictures:

Here is what my teeth looked like before my surgery...

Swelling after surgery

Waiting for my gums to heal....

Trying them on ... although they weren't completely finished.

The finished look... taking them home to start the adjustment phase of this journey.

I want to thank everyone who has passed on their tips and suggestions to me. Thank you for being so kind and offering words of encouragement. Thank you for all the wonderful compliments I have gotten over the past few months. I must say.... I have some pretty awesome people reading my blog!!!

Smile.... just Smile!!!

I have another update for the progress with my dentures. I had another fitting done yesterday. But the most exciting part is that the dentures are a week from being pretty much done. I'll be bring them home next week to try them out. As long as things go as planned. Here's the new look. 

They aren't all the way done. So I'll post a new picture once they are. I'm really glad this journey is almost over. All I have to do is fight through the pain and get used to them. Then, I'll finally be free. I won't be held back from life because of my teeth any longer!!!!!!!

Half Way There.....

If you've been following along with my blog (that I've terribly neglected the past few days) you'll know the fight I have been going through the past few years. If not, I encourage you to take a look at them. I've shared every aspect of the struggle and I'd even like to believe that I've inspired a few out there.

So the reason for this post is to announce that as of today, I'm two weeks away from this process being over. As long as everything works out right, I should have my brand new dentures on Jan 31. Last Wednesday and today have been my latest appointments. On Jan. 11, the denture process started. I went to make the first impression for them. It was uncomfortable but a relief all in one. Today I went back and tried out the wax version of the impression to get the measurements perfect. The first impression was made into a wax impression where they melted the wax down to fit my mouth. I also got to pick out the shade of white for my "teeth".

It feels so great. I never thought this process would ever be here. And here I am. Excited. To give you the very brief look into the past, I'll share a photo with you with how bad my teeth were (as well as my health) due to my teeth. It's very important to take care of them. (Which I did but had no control due to other health issues) So, here I am in Nov of last year right before my surgery:

Every tooth in my mouth was bad. I couldn't eat solid foods and cold foods/drinks hurt. I couldn't really brush them either due to them being so brittle. When I was born, I was sick. The meds they gave me ate the enamel off of my teeth. So, it didn't matter how much I took care of them... they'd still end up like this.....

After about 5 years of fighting, I now look like this. And I'm proud of it. I got my life back. Yes it was at the cost of my teeth but it's the best thing I ever did. I have no regrets.

I absolutely love this picture. The next photo of me will be right after I put in the finished dentures at the dentist office. So, I wanted to thank everyone who supported me in the process. And for those who look at these pictures and judge them..... I pray that one day you will have the ability to understand. I also would suggest you reading the post I did a while ago titled..."Think before you speak."


I am proud of who I am and what I look like. This journey has shown me not to judge others by their looks because you have no idea what they are going through, it's taught me to be thankful for everything in my life (both little and big), and it's taught me exactly what happiness feels like. AND IT FEELS GREAT!!!!


Thanks so much for reading. I really hope this post has touched you in some way and made a difference in your life.

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Taking Things For Granted.....

Ten years ago, I wouldn't have told you that I would have seen myself sitting here in my kitchen being thankful for the things such as solid foods, cold drinks, or any other thing we take in our daily lives for granted.

On November 14th, I had a full mouth extraction. Yes, as some already know I'm only twenty-four years old. Due to medical needs, I had to have every tooth pulled. Here it is almost four weeks later and I want to share more of this journey with you. First, this is what I looked like two days after the surgery. (Remember it's taking a lot to share this.)

I've been thinking about sharing this just didn't know how much I would actually touch with my words. I'd like to see this post make you think. Let me tell you that I regret not being thankful for having my teeth when they were healthy. Living with out them at this moment in time is hard.

I am completely embarrassed with how I look. My image has changed so much. I can't even bare looking in the mirror but I go about my day not even thinking about this. Some would think it wouldn't be that bad. Well, at times it is. Like when I'm hungry and I see people around me eating foods I love. I just want to grab some as well but then I remember I can't really chew it. So, I go to the cabinet and grab more soup or pasta. At this point that's pretty much what I can eat.

About five days after my surgery, I was out shopping with my Mom even though I didn't want to. But I had no choice. I felt like everyone was looking at me. At first I couldn't deal with the cold which in turn made my jaw hurt. I didn't eat so we decided to stop at Bob Evans. This way I could take my pain meds as well. While we were there, I saw my mom and her husband order some great looking food.

After our food arrived, my step dad started complaining about not getting all of his bacon he ordered. They forgot one piece. I was baffled by this. Here he was ABLE to eat bacon and all he could do was think about that one strip of bacon. WOW... was all I thought. So, I told him, "At least you can eat it. Just be thankful for that."

After saying this I looked at my mom and said "It's amazing how much in life we take for granted." While they enjoyed their nice hot solid meals, I enjoyed mashed potatoes and gravy with hot coco. And even tried a strawberry smoothy, thinking the cold would help my swelling.

So, the moral of this story is to be thankful for EVERYTHING in life. Not just the big stuff.

What small thing in your life are you thankful for?

Takes some getting used to.... is... an under statement...

Just to refresh every one's memory or update the new readers, I had oral surgery on the 14th of November. The surgery went well though the surgeon did say it was a tough surgery. The first two days weren't really much for me because I was off in la la land.

About the third day after my surgery, I got up and began being part of the world again. I could only be up out of bed for a few minutes at a time because I kept getting light headed. One thing I hated up to this point was having to rinse with warm salt water. I just hate the taste of plain salt. On the third day, I ventured a car ride to my mother's for the weekend. This was rough. I kept getting car sick.

Once I got to Mom's and she helped me get comfortable.. it wasn't too bad. I must say I don't know what I would have done if my mom wasn't right beside me for this ride. She made sure I was taken care of as well as my daughter. I must say she did an awesome job.

Now I just hit the two week mark. I'm feeling a lot better than what I was. I'm pretty much back to the same routine I had. But I'm fighting to get back on schedule. All the sleep caused me to fall out of my normal routine.

My daughter, which is 5, helped me out a lot. She was always trying to help in some way. She even went to the extent of asking my grand-mother if she was going to give her false teeth to her mommy one morning while my grand-mother was doing her morning routine. (I had to share this.)

Today was the first day where the swelling in my face went down a lot. I was actually able to talk. I'm praying that it continues to go and stay down. I hate the swelling. It makes it so much more hard to talk.

I can say that having no teeth is life changing and hard to adjust to. I keep finding myself trying to eat foods without thinking. I never had to deal with not being able to chew up food. It's tough. Psychologically it's hard. I'm 24 years old without my real teeth. Takes a lot to say that for me. I know deep inside it's for the best but it's still hard to believe I have no teeth.

In reality, I know every thing will work out in the end and my health will be much better. I'll even be able to use my college degree and FINALLY work. Now that's exciting.

I want to thank all of my reader's who have followed my journey so far and I want to thank all of you who are reading this right now.

My Progress So Far

I hope this post finds everyone doing well. I know it's been a while but with good reason. The surgery went great. My hubby and Mom both said the surgeon did an awesome job. So far there's no bruising. The pain is really more described as discomfort. It's definitely different. I'll say one thing... you don't realize how much in life you take for granted until you go through something like this. Eating has definitely been a task.

My Mom has been through every step of the way which I think made it much easier to deal with. (Mom always makes it better, right?) Hopefully, I'll be back to reviews and giveaways very soon. As well as my normal posting. Trying to focus on me at the moment and getting back to my normal self.

I want to thank everyone who's given me an encouraging email or comment. Love reading them and yes they do help. So once again Thank you.

Well, I'm off to bed. Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll see you again soon. Until then, take care and in case I'm not back by then.... Happy Thanksgiving.

The Day Before....

So, as some of you know.... I've had problems with my teeth and it's been a rather long journey to getting them fixed. I've had a very rough road. My full mouth extraction will be done tomorrow at 10 am.

Right now I'm not sure how to feel about this. I'm extremely nervous and it's taking it's toll on me. You see... I've never had surgery before. So, this is a pretty big ordeal.

I have several concerns. The first is I'm afraid this will have a negative outcome for my daughter and her views of the dentist. I don't want her to be afraid to go because of seeing what I'm about to go through.

Second, I'm 24 years old. I feel this is rather young to be loosing all of my teeth. Yes, it's a good thing because I wont be in pain anymore and I'll slowly be able to eat foods I once loved. I'm looking at it this way.... once it's done... there's no going back. So, I pray I don't have any issues with the dentures. I don't want to be 24 years old without teeth. That would just look and be horrible.

Third... I can handle some pain. That's for sure. I've put up with lots of it over five years. But I just pray that it's not over my limit and from what I know I can handle.

So, this will be the last post I make until I begin to feel better (hopefully this week sometime). I'll have a few guest bloggers so keep your eyes out for their awesome posts.

Until next time....... <3

Overloaded with Stress

I'm sure most of the blogging world would agree that when we write/post our finds, giveaways, reviews, and stories; it helps with our stress level in some way. Well, normally this would work for me. But I don't think for the next week anything will work.

The long awaited for dental surgery is Monday, Nove 14th. ONE WEEK FROM TODAY! And I am freaking out. It's my first surgery.

One thing I hate and I mean hate is doing something blind-folded. (Not literally) I feel this is like walking with a blind fold on. You have no idea what is coming your way.

I'm the type of person that needs to follow a list, schedule, or know what I am needed to do. Well, my surgery falls under none of that. So yeah I am freaking out. I feel this coming week is going to be full of restless nights and anxiety of the unknown.

Is anyone else like this?

Awesome Update

As some of you already know, I've been waiting a very long time to find the means to get my dental health in order and fix what's broken. This past week, I got the phone call I've been waiting for during the last five years. (Previous posts on my blog will explain why I had to wait so long).

After countless months of fighting insurance companies and dental offices, I was finally approved for my full mouth extraction plus dentures. AWESOME.... But we already knew that one... LOL

Anyway, this week the oral surgeon's office called to SCHEDULE my SURGERY!!!!!

Therefore, I'll be blogging up until Nov. 13.... in which on the 14th will be my surgery. I'd love it if you all hang out with me and keep my spirits up and fears down until then. What do ya say?

The Waiting Game

 As everyone who's been following along with my story knows, I'm in the process of preparing for a full mouth extraction.

This past Wednesday I met with the dental surgeon who may be doing the surgery providing the insurance approves it from that aspect. They told me that the procedure would be about two hours long and I'd be put "to sleep". This sounds good so I don't have to go through the entire two hours watching what they are doing.

At this point in time, I have no idea when they are going to do it. I guess the way it works is... my home dentist got the approval for the dentures. I misunderstood them thinking this was for everything. The insurance company has to also approve the "plan" and agree to pay for what the surgeon has planned. They said that it will be a rough road to recovery but once it's done... I will be agreeing that this was the best thing I ever did.

In all bluntness, I'm scared shitless. I'm so nervous. I have a five year old and my fiance works. He can put her off to school but I'm the one who normally gets her off the bus. So, at this point I have no idea how we are going to work this. Over the coarse of five years, I've heard friends and family tell me that I need to get my teeth taken care of and they would be there to help.

Wednesday was a challenge to all of them... I guess you could say a test in which several failed. People told me they had things to do around the time my daughter got off the bus and therefore couldn't get her. (If I wasn't back in time). I had two offers to help from those I least expected. So, I want to thank that person for coming to help when I needed you. I appreciate it.

So, I'm asking anyone out there that's been through this to share tips for afterward on the healing process and how I can make myself the most comfortable. What types of things should I avoid? Is it very painful? Help me ease my mind so nothing comes as a surprise.

Thanks for reading.

Outcome of Dentist Appointment

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get a troublesome tooth taken care of. I didn't expect them to do much at all. For the past five years, any dentist I went to pretty much only did the basics. They never actually tried to fix the issues I have with my teeth. We've always ran into something that stopped me from my goal. My goal is a full mouth extraction and dentures. It's hard finding a dentist who'd be willing to pull all the teeth of a 24 yr old.

The dentist deemed it medically necessary to have a full mouth extraction and dentures placed. My prayer answered. I began crying because I never thought I'd hear those words.

I've been referred to a dentist who will remove all my teeth. I've called and made the consultation appointment. The sooner I get it and get this started, the sooner I will be in a good pain. Pain from healing and on my way to a beautiful smile once again.

I will be documenting each step (if all parties agree) so all my followers can follow me with this journey as well.

Thanks to all those who added me into their prayers. God Bless.

Block in The Road to My Smile

I previously posted that I was going to the dentist this past Friday. I wanted to keep my friends and family updated with my blog. So, here's the latest update.

I woke Friday morning and decided to double check the Aspen Dental website to ensure that I had all needed paper work for the appointment. As I was checking this out, I noticed a Questions and Answers page that I didn't notice before I made my appointment. As I was reading over this page, I noticed that it said they didn't take my "insurance". In fact, they don't consider state benefits as insurance. I had no choice but to cancel with them.

I decided that I would call the insurance company to see what dentists took this coverage. This way it'd save me time and in the long run gas. I found out there's two in my area that accepts it. That was good news. But the young lady I spoke with wanted to go over the coverage with me. She told me that I have the lowest benefits a person could have. This means, that no matter what dentist I go to, getting my teeth done wasn't going to happen. They only pay for examinations every 6 months and basic root canals. Well, if you know my situation, this isn't what I need. I need more than that.

So, now I have to fill out a paper to send back to the assistance office to see if they can help me any further to have my teeth fixed before they kill me.

If you don't really know how bad my teeth are... let me explain...

I am not a doctor so these are only guesses... I suffer from depression and anxiety disorder. I do believe this was caused because of how I feel about my appearance when it comes to my teeth. My body hurts. I feel tired all the time. And my face just doesn't feel quite right. I am in constant pain. It doesn't stop with any over the counter pain meds. I am on a liquid diet which means soups for me. I mainly drink coffee, milk, and tea to help with the hunger. (There's only so much a person can take of soups).

So, there you have it. The wonderful update. Thanks for reading.

It's Time

I have come to the conclusion today that I can't let this go on any longer. I have written a blog in the past about my dental problems. Today, while eating a mini pepperoni roll two of my teeth broke in half. Thus, causing me even more pain. I have been in non-stop pain for the past few days and I can't take it any more.

My daughter came up to me today after my teeth broke and I was crying in pain/disbelief. (Pasta and breads are pretty much the only solids I can eat) Now, I'm afraid I am only down to a liquid (soups) diet. She looked at me, took the roll out of my hand, and placed it on my napkin. Then, she put her hands softly on each side of my face and looked into my eyes. Next, she said, "Mommy, we need to get this fixed. I don't like you crying like this."

This is when it hit me. Not only are my teeth slowly killing me (emotionally and probably physically) but they also effect her as well. So, I have made my decision... it's time to see if I can actually get them done. I wasn't able to before because I didn't have dental coverage. Now, I have state insurance and I pray that they will help me.

It's taken me so long to make this decision because of fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being able to afford everything. Fear of the recovery. I pray, that if I could only have one thing done in my life, my dream to have my smile back, will be done.

I will keep writing on this process and hopefully it will have a beautiful light at the end of this very long tunnel. Then, I will be able to smile once again.

Think before you speak....

____________________________________________________________________

What would you say, if I asked you what this picture meant to you? What do you think of the young lady in the photo? When I look at this photo, I see a beautiful young lady who looks confident and happy. I see someone who takes pride in herself and cares about her outer appearance. I see a young lady that is proud of who she is. I see someone out going and active.

But what if I added in another photo of this young lady

Has your opinion changed of her yet? I ask you the same questions... What do you get from this photo? I would say a young lady who seems to be lost in deep thought. Maybe. she's thinking about something that troubles her or maybe stresses her. Then, I think maybe she just made the photo look like this on purpose.

But what if I was to tell you that the young lady in the photo is myself. I'm nothing as the above stated. I suffer from depression. I suffer from anxiety. I have low self- esteem. I care about how others see me. (Even though deep inside I know what other's think shouldn't bother me). I am a perfectionist. I lack a smile in the second picture for a reason. Most of my teeth are gone. Not by the lack of taking care of them or the lack of wanting to take care of them. I have suffered from dental problems since I was a child. The dentist I saw most of my childhood assured my parents that by the time I was 25, I would need to have all my teeth extracted and dentures put into place. Well, he was right.

I am a person. I have feelings. People tend to forget this when I'm out in public. They stare. They whisper and this is after I have given them a friendly smile. A smile that one whispered as I walked by: nasty and un-needed. She should have done something about them. Who in their right mind would let their teeth get that bad?

I would like you to stop all thinking at this very moment. Take in every word from here within and feel it. Don't just read it. But actually feel it. Try to put yourself in my position: I brushed my teeth like I was supposed to as I grew. I got regular dental appointment when I could. I used mouth wash. I used floss. None of that worked. My teeth weren't too bad until I got pregnant at 18 years old. That's when things really changed for me. It all started with the chipping of my front tooth on the right. Most would call that the "fang" tooth. I was eating a candy bar when it broke in half. I called the dentist right away and asked if I could get this fixed. He replied to me that I would need my OBGYN to approve of the procedure that needed to be done. My OB said that he didn't think at that time would be the best... because I was considered high risk. I was considered a teen mom. I didn't have a choice but to wait until the arrival of my daughter. Time had passed by and more teeth had broken. Then, the time for my daughter's arrival came.

After the stay in the hospital from giving birth and finally being discharged.. I went home. I have all the hope in the world of getting the few teeth fixed that had fallen apart during my pregnancy. I called to make an appointment.

When I went in for my appointment to see what the dentist wanted to do, the secretary of the office came in and brought to my attention that I no longer had health insurance. She asked me if I was willing to pay. I took that last of the money I had to cover the appointment that far and left. I was so embarrassed. I went directly home and called the insurance company. They informed me that seeing how I was over the age of 18 and no longer pregnant, my insurance had run out and they would be picking up my daughter instead. This really bummed me. My fiance and I weren't married.. therefore, I could not be added to his health plan and the state no longer accepted me. On a low budget, I could not afford to purchase health insurance on my own.

Everything went downhill from there. I felt over-whelmed but didn't let that bother me seeing how I have a daughter. She needed me anyway. I wanted to focus on the breast feeding so I could "master" it and try to give my daughter the best start possible.

As time went on, my teeth continued to "disappear." One day I had a major tooth ache and needed a tooth pulled. My step-dad said that it didn't matter to him how much the cost.. he would cover the cost of the visit and extraction... to get it taken care of. So, I did. This is when I found out just where I stood when it came to my teeth. I went to West Virginia's Dental School at West Virginia University in Morgantown, WV. This was one of the worst experiences in my life. The tooth they extracted turned out to be very brittle and came out in pieces.

Over time, I tried to get state medical but my condition wasn't bad enough. At the time, I resided in West Virginia where I was approved for Adult Basic- Medically Needy Only. All this means is that nothing is covered unless it's life threatening. In short terms, this wasn't and didn't help me to get my teeth fixed. Now, by this time I lived all day, every day in pain. I still do.

I have tried repeatedly to get my teeth fixed. All I got was "road blocks" each way I turned. Things happened and I move back to my home state, PA. I am to the point of where I can't really eat. When I do eat, it's mainly soups or things I very carefully eat. The decay of my teeth have caused other health problems. I now suffer from bell's palsy in the right side of my face. My eyes have gotten worse and my ear's hurt all the time. My eyes have even gotten to the point of being very sensitive to sun light. (Creating the problem of taking my daughter outside.)

I write this blog because I want other's to understand. The next time you look at some one who seems a little different to you or not up to the "standards". I ask you not to judge but offer a helping hand. Everyone has a story. Some are more difficult then others. But when it comes down to it, we are all the same. We are all humans with feelings. Remember, before you judge another... ask yourself.. what's their story.