Come on in!

I'm so glad you have come across my little nook in the cyber world. Here I strive to be real and inspire. I talk about my walk in faith as a Christian, motherhood, the loss of my child, and anything else that crosses my mind. Join me for a minute and relax?

Friday, May 27, 2016

3rd Birthday in Heaven

Happy 3rd Birthday, Dakota.

I cannot believe that it's been three years since I saw her precious face for the first and last time. It's been three years since I held her perfect body. It's been three years since I felt her soft skin. It's been three years since I kissed her perfect little head. 

Oh God, do I miss her!!!

I know that we will be together again soon, my daughter.

I pray that you're enjoying the beautiful melody of God's choir and the heavenly hugs mixed with kisses. 

Fly high, Baby Girl
Mommy, Daddy, Sissy, and Baby boy will be with you soon.
We love you very much!

Love,
Mom


Monday, May 2, 2016

Favorite Verses of the Bible

Today, I'm going to share with you the verses within the Bible that spoke to me and that I live by on a daily basis. Each verse has a special meaning for me. God wants us to study His word, learn it, and live by it. I hope this inspires you to create a verse list for yourself and push you to live by each one daily. 


- 1 Peter 4: 8 "Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins." 

This verse tells me that regardless of a person's lifestyle, beliefs, or sins, we are to love them.

****

- 1 Peter 5: 7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

I have a major problem with allowing my anxiety to control my life. This is one of the most difficult verses for me to give into because I have way too much self-control. Through prayer and with God's help, I will overcome this anxiety, and be free by casting away the anxiety from me and giving it to God.

****

- Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God." 

This verse speaks to me on so many levels and makes me emotional. God is so good. He is so good where he extended His grace to me and I am saved. He gave His life for me, a sinner. I am a sinner saved by Grace and it means so much to me.

****
- Philippians 4:13 "I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Without this verse, I wouldn't have been able to make it through the death of my unborn daughter. I remember this verse showing up everywhere the weekend before I lost her. That Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the Lord showed me repeatedly that I needed Him to endure what was to come. He was the first one I turned to when my heart shattered. No one but He fixed my broken heart.


What are some of your favorite Bible verses? Why?

Direction and Purpose

I've been having a hard time figuring out who I am in Christ. I've done a lot of praying and taking time with God to figure out what it is that I'm supposed to be doing. As I listened to the whispers of God, I heard that I have been given the gift to write for His glory. I'm meant to write about my faith and love for Jesus Christ. As well as His love, grace, and mercy for those who visit this blog. 

This blog is a spin-off from my author blog and I invite each one of you to check out the bits of inspiration there by following this link: http://raebethbuda.blogspot.com/   This blog shares my books and thoughts that spiral from the works I create. 

My plan for this blog is to keep it family oriented, but Christ will be the center of ALL the writing. So, grab a cup of coffee (or tea), sit down, and relax with me. 

Let's chat.... 

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Journal Entry #1


~
Dear God,

Where have you been? 

Why did ou leave me?

I just don't understand. Life is hard right now. I've prayed and prayed for your help, but I haven't gotten an answer to even one prayer! I tithe. I pray. I help out in the community; sharing Your Word and telling people about you. Yet, here I am confused, angry, and disappointed. I'm confused because I was told that you'd always be there for me and that you have great plans for me, yet I can't pay my bills and I'm living out of my family's home. Then, I thought this move was for something that had to do with your great plan, but I find that it's been more stress, heartache, and displacement. 

The anger and hatred that flows through this home are unbearable at times. I don't understand. Why did you show me that this was part of my story and have it be a roller coaster of arguments, tears, and pain? 

I truly thought this was the best option. I thought it'd make things easier for me and my family; only to find more anxiety. I tried to push the enemy away, but he's extremely strong at times. He seems to overtake everyone here and attitudes shoot to the sky. Sarcasm overflows. The actions of those I'm around, do not reflect you and I wonder where you are. 

When tension is on the rise, I feel as if I'm alone. I don't understand it. I've been through so much in life and it seems to keep coming at me like waves in the sea; one after another. They hit so hard. Some have managed to knock me over, but I struggle to get back up and push forward. Haven't I been through enough? When will my life fall into place? When will I have the desires of my heart? 

It's to the point where I'm about to give up. I can't take this anymore. I can't take the confusion within my life and the stress. I can't take the constant emotional roller coaster that's been heavily clouding this house. Please, help me!!

Love,
Me

*****

My Precious Daughter, 

I haven't left you. Nor will I ever. I wouldn't ever forsake you, especially in this difficult time. You are so important to me and I love you. I rejoice every time I hear you telling someone about me. I rejoice when I hear you singing your praises to Me. It may seem as if I'm quiet, distant, or absent. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. I have been right beside you the entire time. I promise you that everything you're going through is worth it. Just wait...you'll see. I understand the pain and I promise you...it isn't for nothing. Everything is important and you matter so much to me. I know everything about you.I know the moment you rise in the morning, each thought that comes into your mind, and I know the words you're going to say before they are even formed on your lips. I know how many strands of hair is on your head. Even when it seems like I'm far away, I'm still with you. 

I've been trying to fight my way into the home you speak of, however, it's hard when so many are closing off their ears to my whispers. I see the tears and the heartache within the home. Believe me, I know the lies of the enemy and the temptations he creates to distract you from me. I hear the lies he's whispering. My child, call upon me when you're being tempted and I will always come to you. For I have already won that battle the day I was crucified.  When Satan is present, push the darkness away and cover yourself in the light. 

My daughter, remember you are NEVER alone. Those are just more lies of the enemy. As I have promised, I am always with you and I love you. My thoughts and blessings are poured out to you and I promise everything will fall into place when the time is perfect. Just wait and see. Don't give up. The brokenness of your family can be changed if all turn to me and push out the enemy. I can restore your hopes in your future and I can remove the pain of your heart. I can fill your life with joy and cast away each burden. I can heal you and restore you. Just open your ears to my whispers, hear my voice, and remember I love you!

Love Always,
God

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Being Content With What You Have

When we try to live beyond our means and keep up with the latest things, we often set ourselves up for disappointment and un-contentment within life. I've witnessed people complain about the things within their lives when they are comparing it to the lives of others. Especially when it comes to relationships. It's not about what we don't have. It's about being grateful for the things we DO have. 

We have a tendency to get wrapped up in social media. This is a big source that feeds our discontentment. We sit by day-after-day and watch others share their lives through posts, pictures,
and updates. Most of the time, it's all just a show. No one is really that happy... right? However, that's not always true. True happiness isn't found by sharing what we wish we had or what we want. It's by showing gratitude for what we have. We allow the outlook appearances of others to shave away pieces of our happiness over time. 

Let me tell you a story:

Meet Jen. She's a successful woman who has an awesome sense of style. Her hair and makeup are totally on point. She always appears to have her stuff in order. When she shares pictures on her social media through the day, the happiness radiates from her. Her photos show that she spends a lot of time shopping and going out on the weekends. Sounds like a good life... right?

What you don't see is the nights where Jen cries herself to sleep from the lack of that someone special. What you don't see is her overworking herself so she doesn't have the dead silence of the night getting to her. What you don't see is her complete discontent for the lack of people who truly care.

Now I want to introduce Mandy. She's a mother of three and stays at home to take care of the kids. Her husband works odd hours. When she posts on her social media, she shares different accomplishments her children have mastered or the new recipe she found. She's constantly sharing different posts about her husband and her love for Jesus. However, in most of the photos she shares, you see her hair is a mess, she's wearing yesterday's makeup, and she's usually in her comfy clothes that have food stains on them from her two-year-old. Occasionally you'll see her husband post a sweet message to his wife for all that she does for the family and how much he appreciates it.

What you don't see is how overwhelmed Mandy is but loves every minute of it. What you don't see is the family meals at night and thanks being given to the Lord for providing the meal. What you don't see is the hugs and kisses which warm her heart. What you don't see is the love of having a full house and no time for herself. 


****

Honestly, we don't need it all. Most times, we need only what the Lord has provided for us. It may seem as if Jen has it all but in reality loneliness is a overbearing part of life. Mandy's life may seem like it's overwhelming and chaotic but it's full of life's biggest blessings. The moral of these stories are for us to stop comparing what we see online and start focusing on what's in front of us. Our blessings come in forms most of us take for granted. Our happiness is a moment to moment choice that we have.

 Are you going to chose happiness?

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

a prayer for those who feels defeated, torn down, or sad

Life is hard. At times, it can be truly overwhelming and can try to break us down. 

We may be but into a position where emotions run while and voices are silent. 

Our internal selves are crying, but we remain silent. 

Our concerns in life matter to God. We only have to turn them over to Him in prayer and He will take it on. He's here with us, regardless of what's going on. 

In Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) it says, "Be strong. Be courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

So, here's my prayer for those who feel defeated, torn down, or sad! 

Father God,

Thank you for all that you do. For providing us with all of our needs and for always being there when we need You. You are an amazingly loving and forgiving God. You are great and joyful.

I come to you today to pray for each person who reads this; for each person who feels as if their at the end of their rope. I ask that You extend your grace to them, Father. You promised that you'd be with us and for us to cast all our worries to you, Father. We are here to do just that.

Help each person who feels defeated, torn down, and saddened by the circumstances they are facing. Lift their spirits and calm the soul. Increase their hope in You by performing miracles in their lives and blessing them in ways they need.

Strengthen them and renew their hope. Show them You are there with them and haven't left them. 

-In Jesus' Name-
~AMEN~

Friday, November 20, 2015

It Never Hurts to say "Thank You"




I have heard over and over what people think about me as a stay at home Mom, but one thing I hardly hear is how appreciative those who I care for are for the things that I do. Most of the time, the lack of sleep, showers, and food go unnoticed. Some have this notion that mothers who stay at home with the kids all day are…in a way…either not pulling their weight or just sitting around, doing nothing the entire day. Boy, that is way off!!!

Here is a glimpse of a good day for me...

7:00 AM: My husband tells me it's time to wake up, however after a restless night with the baby I fight to open my eyes. My son still wakes several times a night to nurse and he occasionally tosses around on our bed, which makes it hard for me to sleep.

7:15 AM: My husband tells me he's leaving for work and gives a wake-up call to our nine-year-old daughter before heading out the door.

7:20 AM: I force myself to sit up in bed so I can muster up the energy to grab my overly energized toddler to change his diaper.

7:25 AM: I yell for my daughter to get up once again as I head to the kitchen with my baby on my hip so I can grab a cup of coffee. 

7:30 AM: I yell once again for my daughter and quickly grab a drink of my coffee.

7:31 AM: My son starts whining and crying, asking in his baby talk for his juice and breakfast, which I can't give to him right away because his sister won't get out of bed. So, he settles for his Lil' crunchies snacks while I run back to the bedroom and literally pull my daughter out of bed.

7:35 AM: My daughter starts whining about not getting enough sleep, she's tired, and doesn't want to go to school, as she makes her way to the kitchen AFTER being told to get dressed.

7:36 AM: I tell my daughter again to get dressed as I get a quick drink of my coffee and start the task of packing my daughters lunch while stopping to give my son another lil crunchier snack.

7:40 AM: I threaten to ground my daughter if she doesn't head into the bedroom to get dressed while I finish up her lunch and start helping my mom by packing hers. *She works at the school where my daughter attends so she's getting ready too.*

7:45 AM: My daughter managed to go back into the room, sit on the bed, and watch the morning cartoons that are playing on the television. It doesn't matter that she needs to be ready to leave by 8:30 because that is what time her ride pulls in.

7:50 AM: I catch my daughter jumping up off the bed as I open the bedroom door. I yell a bit more for her to get a fire under her butt and get ready. She back talks and whines some more. Once I see her picking out her clothes, I ask her what she would like in her lunch. She's very indecisive, so when I ask I don't get a straight answer. I go back out and pack what I think she wants.

8:00 AM: My daughter comes out of the room and flops down at the table with her phone in her hands. (Knowing she's not supposed to touch it before she's completely ready.) I tell her to put her phone down and she begins to argue with me. I raise my voice, tell her if she doesn't put her phone down she's grounded, and she whines as she turns it off.

8:05 AM: I give my son another one of his snacks and pick up some toys so he can occupy himself while I finish fighting to get my daughter ready for school. Then, I ask my daughter what she wants for breakfast since I already packed her lunch. The indecisiveness continues and I decide for her.

8:10 AM: My daughter nibbles at her breakfast while I'm reminding her of what she still needs to get done while feeding more snacks to my son.

8:15 AM: My daughter has finished her breakfast, puts on her shoes, and goes to brush her teeth. I find new toys for my son to play with while I drink a bit of my cold coffee. While drinking my coffee, I try to plan my day in between the fussiness of my son because he wants another snack.

8:25 AM: My daughter comes out of the bathroom and I quickly fix her hair and tell her to get her bookbag from the room. 

8:30 AM: My daughter leaves for school with a messy, quick ponytail and I go to the cupboard to pick out my son's breakfast. *This is usually where my headache kicks in from the lack of sleep and the stressful morning.*

8:45 AM: My son finished his breakfast and I change his diaper. Then, I put him back into the height chair so I can grab a warm cup of coffee and enjoy it this time. 

9:00 AM: My son makes it clear that he's ready to lay back down. I grab him up, head back into the bedroom, and nurse him to sleep. During this time, I do my Bible devotions on my phone through the app. 

9:30- 11 AM: This block of time is different every day. The very first thing I do once laying my son down is run to the bathroom for the first time that day. Then I grab something to eat. Sometimes I lay back down with my son for a bit. If I don't, then I start working on my to-do list, which could be updating information on one of my blogs, planning and plotting for my book, research for my book, dishes or laundry, or I read. If I do lay down, I don't fall into a deep sleep because I'm afraid that if I do...I won't hear my son cry.

11:00 AM: My son wakes up crying for his mum mum. I stop what I'm doing and get him from his bed. He shows me that he wants to play with me, so we go out to the living room floor and play.

12:00 PM: I take my son to the kitchen for lunch and in a feeble attempt at trying to get some work done, I place my laptop on the table by my son and do some work.

12:30 PM: My son makes it clear that he doesn't want to sit in the kitchen anymore and he wants to play. So, I close up my laptop.

12:31 PM: By this time, I am wishing I could have had the dishes done and laundry started. I take his stuff from lunch, put it by the sink, brush off the crumbs, and we head into the living room.

12:33 PM: Diaper change.

12:35 PM: I THINK about taking a shower at my son's next nap.

12:36- 1:30 PM: My son and I play more in the living room. He's adamant on pulling out every strand of my hair as he pulls my hair, pokes me in the eyes, and laughs about it all. Of course, when I see something cute, I snap a picture.

1:30- 2:00 PM: My son starts to get cranky and tells me he's ready for a nap. We head into the bedroom and I change his diaper. Then, nurse him to sleep. *This is usually his longest nap of the day.*

2:00 PM: I can't make myself get into the shower because I fear my son will wake up and I won't hear him cry. *We don't have a baby monitor system.* So, I decide to throw in a load of laundry and do up the dishes. I clean up the toy mess my son left all over the house, which made it look like a tornado came through.

2:30 PM: I do a bit more work on the laptop.

3:00 PM: My daughter comes through the door from school. I beg her to keep it quiet because her brother is sleeping.

3:30 PM: The baby wakes up and is ready for more food. So, we head to the kitchen and I find him something to eat, feed him, and let him play with his sister.

4:00- 4:30ish PM: I'm wishing for a nap, but my daughter informs me that she's hungry, so I make her something small to eat to hold her over until dinner. *My son decides he needs to eat, too, so I give him a snack.*

5:00 PM: Again...my son decides he's hungry too, so I give him more snacks. *Dinner is prepared by my step-dad or Mom.*

5:30- 6:30 PM: Husband tends to come home around this time. He grabs his plate from the microwave if we've finished dinner or sits with us to eat.

7:00 PM: Start to fight my daughter to gather up her bedtime clothes and get her shower.

7:30 PM: Bath baby and have my daughter take her melatonin because without it, she doesn't sleep well.

8:00 PM: Start the bedtime fight with my daughter, while cleaning up any messes the kids made in the afternoon.

9:00 PM: Nurse my son to sleep once his sister is in bed.

9:30- 10:30 PM: Get ready for bed and lay down to watch television until I am ready for sleep.

11:30-2:00 AM: Sometime in here my son wakes up in his bed, crying to join me and my husband in our bed. I grab him, nurse him, and we fall back to sleep.

** Some nights I'm up every hour or so with my son. Only on a couple occasions has he slept ALMOST all night.**

Remember, this is a good day. I could add in the countless times I have to argue with my daughter about something, or sick days, or errands that need to be done. I'm busy during the day... most of the time I don't have the time or the opportunity to shower (unless I take my son into the bathroom with me) or even eat. 

So, the other day when my husband said, "You know I do often overlook how much you actually do for our family. Thank you. I appreciate it." it floored me. In eleven years, he has NEVER thanked me for doing what I do and it meant sooo much to me.

So, if you're a stay at home Mom.... YOU'RE DOING AN AMAZING JOB. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK. IT IS APPRECIATED!!

If you're the working parent... don't forget to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and do it often.