Dear Mom who's Expecting Their Miracle,
I am writing to you as I sit here at my computer pregnant with my rainbow baby. Although I only started this journey 11 weeks and 2 days ago, I wanted to pass along some words to you. I hope you find this letter both comforting and hopeful. I am hopeful that my letter to you will be encouraging during this emotional time for you. Trust me...it's extremely emotional.
First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RAINBOW!!
I know that in the months to come you will be going through a variety of emotions. You will feel as if you're being tossed and turned because of the many emotions that will take place within you. This could range from joy, sadness, hope, and fear. The emotional storm will toss you around like crazy. But... don't let this discourage you because I think you are STRONG and BRAVE!
You are strong because you are a survivor. You are brave because above all else, you are pushing away what has been stolen from you.
It doesn't matter what type of loss you've experienced- miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death- the happiness you once felt during pregnancy has been taken and replaced with an overload of fear. Don't let this get you down.
I do understand that the only thing you want is a healthy, screaming baby at the end of this pregnancy. Angel parents know there isn't a safe zone for our little ones. So, my advice to you is this. When talking about the future for your rainbow, you may find yourself using words such as "if" or "when" and this is normal.
Don't let the enemy try to steal your happiness by telling you that it's wrong to be happy or excited. Don't let the enemy tell you that by having another baby, you're trying to replace your angel or you're going to forget your angel. This is NOT true. You have been given the blessing of life. Your miracle. Be VERY happy. This is what your angel would want you to do. Your sweet little angel knows just how much you love him/her.
Now, as you find your way down this road of pregnancy, here are some of the things that I am doing to cope with the emotional aspect of it. First, live in each day and try not to worry. I know this is hard because I even find myself doing it at times. But then I think... "WOW, look at me. I've made it to my 11th week of pregnancy and next week I'll be able to see the baby."
Each month that passes. Each week that passes. Each day that passes, Praise God for your blessing. Because you're making it! I can't promise you that you'll bring baby home or that your rainbow will be perfectly healthy. I can't promise you that your never going to experience a loss again. But what I can promise you is that God WILL be with you every step of the way. He will not allow you to walk this journey alone. Your fears... give them to HIM. Your anxieties... give them to HIM. He will take the burden of those while you enjoy your pregnancy.
During your pregnancy try to put out milestones to reach. As an example, I have a small celebration every day where I am still pregnant and everything is well. I celebrate at the end of each week. I keep a journal and notes to my angel to document my feelings so I'm not bottling them inside. Start a blog like I did. It helps.
Either way please know.... YOU'RE NOT ALONE! Our Lord will be with you every step of the way and so will the many other angel parents who have/are walking this journey.