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I'm so glad you have come across my little nook in the cyber world. Here I strive to be real and inspire. I talk about my walk in faith as a Christian, motherhood, the loss of my child, and anything else that crosses my mind. Join me for a minute and relax?

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Journal Entry #1

Dear God,

Where have you been? 

Why did ou leave me?

I just don't understand. Life is hard right now. I've prayed and prayed for your help, but I haven't gotten an answer to even one prayer! I tithe. I pray. I help out in the community; sharing Your Word and telling people about you. Yet, here I am confused, angry, and disappointed. I'm confused because I was told that you'd always be there for me and that you have great plans for me, yet I can't pay my bills and I'm living out of my family's home. Then, I thought this move was for something that had to do with your great plan, but I find that it's been more stress, heartache, and displacement. 

The anger and hatred that flows through this home are unbearable at times. I don't understand. Why did you show me that this was part of my story and have it be a roller coaster of arguments, tears, and pain? 

I truly thought this was the best option. I thought it'd make things easier for me and my family; only to find more anxiety. I tried to push the enemy away, but he's extremely strong at times. He seems to overtake everyone here and attitudes shoot to the sky. Sarcasm overflows. The actions of those I'm around, do not reflect you and I wonder where you are. 

When tension is on the rise, I feel as if I'm alone. I don't understand it. I've been through so much in life and it seems to keep coming at me like waves in the sea; one after another. They hit so hard. Some have managed to knock me over, but I struggle to get back up and push forward. Haven't I been through enough? When will my life fall into place? When will I have the desires of my heart? 

It's to the point where I'm about to give up. I can't take this anymore. I can't take the confusion within my life and the stress. I can't take the constant emotional roller coaster that's been heavily clouding this house. Please, help me!!



My Precious Daughter, 

I haven't left you. Nor will I ever. I wouldn't ever forsake you, especially in this difficult time. You are so important to me and I love you. I rejoice every time I hear you telling someone about me. I rejoice when I hear you singing your praises to Me. It may seem as if I'm quiet, distant, or absent. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. I have been right beside you the entire time. I promise you that everything you're going through is worth it. Just'll see. I understand the pain and I promise isn't for nothing. Everything is important and you matter so much to me. I know everything about you.I know the moment you rise in the morning, each thought that comes into your mind, and I know the words you're going to say before they are even formed on your lips. I know how many strands of hair is on your head. Even when it seems like I'm far away, I'm still with you. 

I've been trying to fight my way into the home you speak of, however, it's hard when so many are closing off their ears to my whispers. I see the tears and the heartache within the home. Believe me, I know the lies of the enemy and the temptations he creates to distract you from me. I hear the lies he's whispering. My child, call upon me when you're being tempted and I will always come to you. For I have already won that battle the day I was crucified.  When Satan is present, push the darkness away and cover yourself in the light. 

My daughter, remember you are NEVER alone. Those are just more lies of the enemy. As I have promised, I am always with you and I love you. My thoughts and blessings are poured out to you and I promise everything will fall into place when the time is perfect. Just wait and see. Don't give up. The brokenness of your family can be changed if all turn to me and push out the enemy. I can restore your hopes in your future and I can remove the pain of your heart. I can fill your life with joy and cast away each burden. I can heal you and restore you. Just open your ears to my whispers, hear my voice, and remember I love you!

Love Always,

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Being Content With What You Have

When we try to live beyond our means and keep up with the latest things, we often set ourselves up for disappointment and un-contentment within life. I've witnessed people complain about the things within their lives when they are comparing it to the lives of others. Especially when it comes to relationships. It's not about what we don't have. It's about being grateful for the things we DO have. 

We have a tendency to get wrapped up in social media. This is a big source that feeds our discontentment. We sit by day-after-day and watch others share their lives through posts, pictures,
and updates. Most of the time, it's all just a show. No one is really that happy... right? However, that's not always true. True happiness isn't found by sharing what we wish we had or what we want. It's by showing gratitude for what we have. We allow the outlook appearances of others to shave away pieces of our happiness over time. 

Let me tell you a story:

Meet Jen. She's a successful woman who has an awesome sense of style. Her hair and makeup are totally on point. She always appears to have her stuff in order. When she shares pictures on her social media through the day, the happiness radiates from her. Her photos show that she spends a lot of time shopping and going out on the weekends. Sounds like a good life... right?

What you don't see is the nights where Jen cries herself to sleep from the lack of that someone special. What you don't see is her overworking herself so she doesn't have the dead silence of the night getting to her. What you don't see is her complete discontent for the lack of people who truly care.

Now I want to introduce Mandy. She's a mother of three and stays at home to take care of the kids. Her husband works odd hours. When she posts on her social media, she shares different accomplishments her children have mastered or the new recipe she found. She's constantly sharing different posts about her husband and her love for Jesus. However, in most of the photos she shares, you see her hair is a mess, she's wearing yesterday's makeup, and she's usually in her comfy clothes that have food stains on them from her two-year-old. Occasionally you'll see her husband post a sweet message to his wife for all that she does for the family and how much he appreciates it.

What you don't see is how overwhelmed Mandy is but loves every minute of it. What you don't see is the family meals at night and thanks being given to the Lord for providing the meal. What you don't see is the hugs and kisses which warm her heart. What you don't see is the love of having a full house and no time for herself. 


Honestly, we don't need it all. Most times, we need only what the Lord has provided for us. It may seem as if Jen has it all but in reality loneliness is a overbearing part of life. Mandy's life may seem like it's overwhelming and chaotic but it's full of life's biggest blessings. The moral of these stories are for us to stop comparing what we see online and start focusing on what's in front of us. Our blessings come in forms most of us take for granted. Our happiness is a moment to moment choice that we have.

 Are you going to chose happiness?

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

a prayer for those who feels defeated, torn down, or sad

Life is hard. At times, it can be truly overwhelming and can try to break us down. 

We may be but into a position where emotions run while and voices are silent. 

Our internal selves are crying, but we remain silent. 

Our concerns in life matter to God. We only have to turn them over to Him in prayer and He will take it on. He's here with us, regardless of what's going on. 

In Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) it says, "Be strong. Be courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

So, here's my prayer for those who feel defeated, torn down, or sad! 

Father God,

Thank you for all that you do. For providing us with all of our needs and for always being there when we need You. You are an amazingly loving and forgiving God. You are great and joyful.

I come to you today to pray for each person who reads this; for each person who feels as if their at the end of their rope. I ask that You extend your grace to them, Father. You promised that you'd be with us and for us to cast all our worries to you, Father. We are here to do just that.

Help each person who feels defeated, torn down, and saddened by the circumstances they are facing. Lift their spirits and calm the soul. Increase their hope in You by performing miracles in their lives and blessing them in ways they need.

Strengthen them and renew their hope. Show them You are there with them and haven't left them. 

-In Jesus' Name-