Struggling To Fit In

Sunday morning had arrived.

I pulled myself out of bed after a restless night while stumbling to the coffee pot. 
As my fresh cup of delight brewed, I started the wake-up process for my family so we could start getting ready for church. I waited for the kids to shuffle out of bed so I could get them their breakfast while I enjoyed my coffee. 

Nothing felt better than a fresh cup of coffee mixed with the morning sun. 

Kids fed, dressed, and ready to go...
we headed off for the morning service.

Excitement filled me as I awaited to see what the Lord had
in store for this service. He never failed to point out the things that I needed
to work on or to discretely answer my prayers.

My hubby parked the car and we headed inside. 
We were greeted by those holding the door as we passed inside.

I sat my toddler son down and wrestled to take off his coat while I kept his close by my side.
I didn't want him off breaking something or falling down the stairs which led to the basement.
Once we had the coats on the rack, we took our seats and readied ourselves for the service.

My mom, step-brother, and step-dad come in shortly behind us and take their seats next to us. 

Excitement fills the room as my sisters enter and people shuffle toward them. Their joyfulness of my sister's arrival has several turning their heads to see what was going on. See my sisters live an hour away and visit our mom when they can. 

While I sit watching in silenced, they walk to the pew and one sits on either side of me. Still... I'm silent. My husband managed to disappear in the crowd once again. Panic arises when my eyes scan the crowd and I don't see him. 

A voice pulls my attention to the pew in front of us. Another person... excited to see my sisters. She directs her welcome and brief conversation of how she and my sisters need to meet up sometime. Then, skipping me... she talks to my younger sister.

Forgotten.
That's how the lack of a cheerful welcome makes me feel.
I try to push these feelings aside because I know that even though I'm 
invisible to them... 
I'm not invisible to God!

For a long time, I have always been the one on the sideline....
watching.

The last to be chosen.

The one who didn't have many I could call friends.

As I stand on the outside, I want to make myself noticed. I want others to see me. Yet, 
the anxious part of me wants to run. The little voice of anxiety tells me that if people wanted to talk to me... they would... without me forcing it.

I feel anxious when many people are around or a few take notice and make small talk.
Most of these small conversations are artificial. I really don't think they want to REALLY know how I am doing. Because if I answered that honestly, I'd tell them I was a mess.

Then, I remind myself...
it's not the acceptance of the world I should seek.
But that of the Lord.

He is who matters.
He is who loves me.
He is the one who will always be there!!! 

Being Content With What You Have

When we try to live beyond our means and keep up with the latest things, we often set ourselves up for disappointment and un-contentment within life. I've witnessed people complain about the things within their lives when they are comparing it to the lives of others. Especially when it comes to relationships. It's not about what we don't have. It's about being grateful for the things we DO have. 

We have a tendency to get wrapped up in social media. This is a big source that feeds our discontentment. We sit by day-after-day and watch others share their lives through posts, pictures,

and updates. Most of the time, it's all just a show. No one is really that happy... right? However, that's not always true. True happiness isn't found by sharing what we wish we had or what we want. It's by showing gratitude for what we have. We allow the outlook appearances of others to shave away pieces of our happiness over time. 

Let me tell you a story:

Meet Jen. She's a successful woman who has an awesome sense of style. Her hair and makeup are totally on point. She always appears to have her stuff in order. When she shares pictures on her social media through the day, the happiness radiates from her. Her photos show that she spends a lot of time shopping and going out on the weekends. Sounds like a good life... right?

What you don't see is the nights where Jen cries herself to sleep from the lack of that someone special. What you don't see is her overworking herself so she doesn't have the dead silence of the night getting to her. What you don't see is her complete discontent for the lack of people who truly care.

Now I want to introduce Mandy. She's a mother of three and stays at home to take care of the kids. Her husband works odd hours. When she posts on her social media, she shares different accomplishments her children have mastered or the new recipe she found. She's constantly sharing different posts about her husband and her love for Jesus. However, in most of the photos she shares, you see her hair is a mess, she's wearing yesterday's makeup, and she's usually in her comfy clothes that have food stains on them from her two-year-old. Occasionally you'll see her husband post a sweet message to his wife for all that she does for the family and how much he appreciates it.

What you don't see is how overwhelmed Mandy is but loves every minute of it. What you don't see is the family meals at night and thanks being given to the Lord for providing the meal. What you don't see is the hugs and kisses which warm her heart. What you don't see is the love of having a full house and no time for herself. 

****

Honestly, we don't need it all. Most times, we need only what the Lord has provided for us. It may seem as if Jen has it all but in reality loneliness is a overbearing part of life. Mandy's life may seem like it's overwhelming and chaotic but it's full of life's biggest blessings. The moral of these stories are for us to stop comparing what we see online and start focusing on what's in front of us. Our blessings come in forms most of us take for granted. Our happiness is a moment to moment choice that we have.

 Are you going to chose happiness?

It Never Hurts to say "Thank You"

I have heard over and over what people think about me as a stay at home Mom, but one thing I hardly hear is how appreciative those who I care for are for the things that I do. Most of the time, the lack of sleep, showers, and food go unnoticed. Some have this notion that mothers who stay at home with the kids all day are…in a way…either not pulling their weight or just sitting around, doing nothing the entire day. Boy, that is way off!!!

Here is a glimpse of a good day for me...

7:00 AM: My husband tells me it's time to wake up, however after a restless night with the baby I fight to open my eyes. My son still wakes several times a night to nurse and he occasionally tosses around on our bed, which makes it hard for me to sleep.

7:15 AM: My husband tells me he's leaving for work and gives a wake-up call to our nine-year-old daughter before heading out the door.

7:20 AM: I force myself to sit up in bed so I can muster up the energy to grab my overly energized toddler to change his diaper.

7:25 AM: I yell for my daughter to get up once again as I head to the kitchen with my baby on my hip so I can grab a cup of coffee. 

7:30 AM: I yell once again for my daughter and quickly grab a drink of my coffee.

7:31 AM: My son starts whining and crying, asking in his baby talk for his juice and breakfast, which I can't give to him right away because his sister won't get out of bed. So, he settles for his Lil' crunchies snacks while I run back to the bedroom and literally pull my daughter out of bed.

7:35 AM: My daughter starts whining about not getting enough sleep, she's tired, and doesn't want to go to school, as she makes her way to the kitchen AFTER being told to get dressed.

7:36 AM: I tell my daughter again to get dressed as I get a quick drink of my coffee and start the task of packing my daughters lunch while stopping to give my son another lil crunchier snack.

7:40 AM: I threaten to ground my daughter if she doesn't head into the bedroom to get dressed while I finish up her lunch and start helping my mom by packing hers. *She works at the school where my daughter attends so she's getting ready too.*

7:45 AM: My daughter managed to go back into the room, sit on the bed, and watch the morning cartoons that are playing on the television. It doesn't matter that she needs to be ready to leave by 8:30 because that is what time her ride pulls in.

7:50 AM: I catch my daughter jumping up off the bed as I open the bedroom door. I yell a bit more for her to get a fire under her butt and get ready. She back talks and whines some more. Once I see her picking out her clothes, I ask her what she would like in her lunch. She's very indecisive, so when I ask I don't get a straight answer. I go back out and pack what I think she wants.

8:00 AM: My daughter comes out of the room and flops down at the table with her phone in her hands. (Knowing she's not supposed to touch it before she's completely ready.) I tell her to put her phone down and she begins to argue with me. I raise my voice, tell her if she doesn't put her phone down she's grounded, and she whines as she turns it off.

8:05 AM: I give my son another one of his snacks and pick up some toys so he can occupy himself while I finish fighting to get my daughter ready for school. Then, I ask my daughter what she wants for breakfast since I already packed her lunch. The indecisiveness continues and I decide for her.

8:10 AM: My daughter nibbles at her breakfast while I'm reminding her of what she still needs to get done while feeding more snacks to my son.

8:15 AM: My daughter has finished her breakfast, puts on her shoes, and goes to brush her teeth. I find new toys for my son to play with while I drink a bit of my cold coffee. While drinking my coffee, I try to plan my day in between the fussiness of my son because he wants another snack.

8:25 AM: My daughter comes out of the bathroom and I quickly fix her hair and tell her to get her bookbag from the room. 

8:30 AM: My daughter leaves for school with a messy, quick ponytail and I go to the cupboard to pick out my son's breakfast. *This is usually where my headache kicks in from the lack of sleep and the stressful morning.*

8:45 AM: My son finished his breakfast and I change his diaper. Then, I put him back into the height chair so I can grab a warm cup of coffee and enjoy it this time. 

9:00 AM: My son makes it clear that he's ready to lay back down. I grab him up, head back into the bedroom, and nurse him to sleep. During this time, I do my Bible devotions on my phone through the app. 

9:30- 11 AM: This block of time is different every day. The very first thing I do once laying my son down is run to the bathroom for the first time that day. Then I grab something to eat. Sometimes I lay back down with my son for a bit. If I don't, then I start working on my to-do list, which could be updating information on one of my blogs, planning and plotting for my book, research for my book, dishes or laundry, or I read. If I do lay down, I don't fall into a deep sleep because I'm afraid that if I do...I won't hear my son cry.

11:00 AM: My son wakes up crying for his mum mum. I stop what I'm doing and get him from his bed. He shows me that he wants to play with me, so we go out to the living room floor and play.

12:00 PM: I take my son to the kitchen for lunch and in a feeble attempt at trying to get some work done, I place my laptop on the table by my son and do some work.

12:30 PM: My son makes it clear that he doesn't want to sit in the kitchen anymore and he wants to play. So, I close up my laptop.

12:31 PM: By this time, I am wishing I could have had the dishes done and laundry started. I take his stuff from lunch, put it by the sink, brush off the crumbs, and we head into the living room.

12:33 PM: Diaper change.

12:35 PM: I THINK about taking a shower at my son's next nap.

12:36- 1:30 PM: My son and I play more in the living room. He's adamant on pulling out every strand of my hair as he pulls my hair, pokes me in the eyes, and laughs about it all. Of course, when I see something cute, I snap a picture.

1:30- 2:00 PM: My son starts to get cranky and tells me he's ready for a nap. We head into the bedroom and I change his diaper. Then, nurse him to sleep. *This is usually his longest nap of the day.*

2:00 PM: I can't make myself get into the shower because I fear my son will wake up and I won't hear him cry. *We don't have a baby monitor system.* So, I decide to throw in a load of laundry and do up the dishes. I clean up the toy mess my son left all over the house, which made it look like a tornado came through.

2:30 PM: I do a bit more work on the laptop.

3:00 PM: My daughter comes through the door from school. I beg her to keep it quiet because her brother is sleeping.

3:30 PM: The baby wakes up and is ready for more food. So, we head to the kitchen and I find him something to eat, feed him, and let him play with his sister.

4:00- 4:30ish PM: I'm wishing for a nap, but my daughter informs me that she's hungry, so I make her something small to eat to hold her over until dinner. *My son decides he needs to eat, too, so I give him a snack.*

5:00 PM: Again...my son decides he's hungry too, so I give him more snacks. *Dinner is prepared by my step-dad or Mom.*

5:30- 6:30 PM: Husband tends to come home around this time. He grabs his plate from the microwave if we've finished dinner or sits with us to eat.

7:00 PM: Start to fight my daughter to gather up her bedtime clothes and get her shower.

7:30 PM: Bath baby and have my daughter take her melatonin because without it, she doesn't sleep well.

8:00 PM: Start the bedtime fight with my daughter, while cleaning up any messes the kids made in the afternoon.

9:00 PM: Nurse my son to sleep once his sister is in bed.

9:30- 10:30 PM: Get ready for bed and lay down to watch television until I am ready for sleep.

11:30-2:00 AM: Sometime in here my son wakes up in his bed, crying to join me and my husband in our bed. I grab him, nurse him, and we fall back to sleep.

** Some nights I'm up every hour or so with my son. Only on a couple occasions has he slept ALMOST all night.**

Remember, this is a good day. I could add in the countless times I have to argue with my daughter about something, or sick days, or errands that need to be done. I'm busy during the day... most of the time I don't have the time or the opportunity to shower (unless I take my son into the bathroom with me) or even eat. 

So, the other day when my husband said, "You know I do often overlook how much you actually do for our family. Thank you. I appreciate it." it floored me. In eleven years, he has NEVER thanked me for doing what I do and it meant sooo much to me.

So, if you're a stay at home Mom.... YOU'RE DOING AN AMAZING JOB. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK. IT IS APPRECIATED!!

If you're the working parent... don't forget to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and do it often. 

Capture Your Grief - Day 6 - Books.

‪#‎captureyourgrief‬ ‪#‎whathealsyou

There are many books that I turned to for my grief, however, I've always loved to read. Here's a list of the books that I have either read or I plan to read.

Simply Tuesday by Emily P Freeman

Let's All Be Brave by Annie F Downs

Saying Goodbye without Saying Hello by RaeBeth McGee-Buda

Pursue the Intentional Life by Jean Fleming 

Becoming a Prayer Warrior by Elizabeth Alves

Understanding the Healing Power of God by Doug Jones

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

Trusting God to Get You Through by Jason Crabb

The Holy Bible

Right after Dakota passed, I dived into books about other angels who gained their wings or books about stronger faith, prayers, and healing. It was hard for me to read them but over time... it's all I wanted to do. I realized that getting lost in these books helped me free myself from the heartache of loss. 

Capture Your Grief - Day 2 - Intention

#‎captureyourgrief‬ ‪#‎whathealsyou‬

My intention for my life is to be more grateful in life. I can remember a good part of my life included complaints about every aspect. I unintentionally found the negative in every situation and always thought about the worse case. Since the death of my daughter, I felt overwhelmed by the sorrow in my heart and it caused me not to care for life or those around me. 

I want to continue being the grateful, happy, and joyful person I found only a few months ago. I feel as if I'm alive again and those who are around me seem to be happier with this change. I have dedicated my life to living for Christ and following His lead. 

My intention is to be a better mother, wife, and friend. In addition to being more grateful, I'm going to open my heart for total healing from our loss. I want to take our daughter's short life and make her memory sweet. I want my living children to grow knowing the right way to live. I want to find the blessing God has provided for me each and every day.

The Day I Invited Jesus into my Life

Life always seems to get away from me. There always seems like there is something to worry over or something that needs to be done. I tend to be an over-worrier. I found myself worried about things that were completely out of control. I wanted and needed control of my life, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it. It seemed that when one thing fell into place, another fell out of place. It was a never ending cycle.

I have always known Christ, but in my teen years, I fell away from Him. My life, friends, and life became my first and main priority. I grew up going to a Methodist Church in Smithfield, PA where we sang songs of worship and the Pastor told his message. However, hanging out with my friends and having fun was my biggest goal. I spent a lot of time goofing off in a friends truck, hanging out in the woods, and just being. At this time in my life, I rarely thought about Jesus. I hardly prayed. I lived by the name of a Christian, however, this was NOT my lifestyle.

Now, as an adult... I can't get enough of Jesus. I want more of Him. I jump out of bed Sunday morning, rush around getting ready, and joyfully head to church. After the untimely death of my dear daughter, I had a gentle shove into Christ. He held me as I cried. He promised that all would be all right and that He was near. He promised to always hold my hand tight and walk me through any of the trials I had to face. This was when I found my TRUE best friend. 

Since I have allowed Jesus into my life, amazing things have happened. My broken heart was healed. I stopped worrying so much. In fact, I hardly worry at all. My anxiety has slowed down and only shows in my weakest moments, but Jesus fixes it for me really quick. My faith has grown and I have an amazing relationship. I found my best friend who has fulfilled the deepest desires of my heart!

Have you met this man I'm speaking of? If so, how has He impacted you? Share a testimony below. 

23 Weeks Pregnant Update w/ ultrasound pictures

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday to check in on our rainbow baby. This appointment I was nervous due to the fact that I had an unexpected appointment. When I left the doctors office last month, my appointment card showed my next visit would be on May 19th at 2:15 in the afternoon. I was content with this. 

Now, I remember praying for another ultrasound because it seems as if the insurance companies and doctors are rather greedy with those. I go crazy not knowing the next time I'll see baby boy. I NEED the reassurance of an ultrasound so I can see him wiggle. At this time, I'm not feeling his every movement so I tend to freak out a bit when I haven't felt him move. Yesterday started out as one of those days. 

On Friday, May 16th, my doctor's office called me to remind me of my two upcoming appointments on the following Monday. This surprised me because I was only aware of one. Immediately, I picked up the phone and called. I had to find out what this other appointment was for. Surprisingly the lines were busy at the high risk number I have. So, I called the front desk of the office. This is when I was informed the first appointment was for an ultrasound and the second was to meet with my doctor. 

I was thrilled. The entire weekend I prayed they hadn't made a mistake with the ultrasound but I was worried about why I was having another one. It hadn't been mentioned. So, I freaked out over the weekend thinking maybe something was seen on the last ultrasound that made them need a follow up. 

Well, Monday came. I got our oldest daughter off to school and once we were ready, hubby and I headed in. It was confirmed that I did in fact have an ultrasound and it was to follow up with some measurements they weren't able to get in April. So, that was a relief. 

Baby boy is weighing in a 1lbs 4oz and was very photogenic. He was wiggling, smiling, and waving hello to us. The best part looked as if he was giving us kisses. Here are some ultrasound pictures for your viewing pleasures. 

The ultrasound technician also surprised us with a few 4D pictures too....

I left the ultrasound room with a huge smile on my face. I loved seeing our son wiggle around and hear his heartbeat. I can say I am very blessed to have made it 23 weeks into this pregnancy and I am praying everyday that I can make it as close to 40 weeks as possible.

My second appointment felt as if it took forever for the doctor to come into the room. I wanted the results from the ultrasound and I wanted to know what he thought about our baby. Once he finally came in, he assured me that all is on track. Baby boy is within the 50th percentile for growth and weight. He's very active and his heart rate was 154. At this point, the doctor asked me to lay back so he could check on baby's position and get an idea of how my uterus was. 

This always got me. I always wondered how the doctors knew what they were feeling. So... I asked. The doctor decided to show me. First he used my hand to point out the differences and then he got out a pen. That's when he drew on me and showed me where it was. I couldn't help but laugh. The doctor I'm seeing knows how to lighten the air with laughter at the right times. 

Once I was done and heading out, he scheduled my next appointment for June 16th. I'll be getting another ultrasound done too. I'm super excited about that too. So there you have it... the update for the month. 

I Am Strong

I am STRONG because at 19 years old, I gave birth to my first daughter, Emma. She cried but one time and stared into my eyes while I held her. 

I am STRONG because I gave up college for that moment in time for the life I was meant to have.

I am STRONG because at 23 years of, my daughter was diagnosed with an eating disorder and Pica.

I am STRONG because at 25 years old, I became pregnant with my second daughter, Dakota. She was born May 27, 2013 and didn't make a sound. 

 

I am STRONG because on June 1, 2013, I buried my child, and I had never thought I would bury a child, but that my child would bury me.

I am STRONG because we didn't get to bring Dakota home. At 40 weeks 5 days, my daughter's heart stopped beating for an unknown reason.  

I am STRONG because I turned to God in my painful time and managed to continue with my life.

I am STRONG because even after our loss, we managed to try to conceive again.

I am STRONG because I have faith in God and he blessed us with our Rainbow baby.

I am STRONG because although you see me parent with 1 child and expecting another, I’m actually a mother of 3.

I am STRONG because pregnancy after a loss is tough and I AM making it!

I am STRONG because I am a SURVIVOR!!!

Closing Out 2013... Faith Based Resolutions....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

What a year this has been!! 2013 was one full emotional roller coaster and I am so happy to kiss it goodbye. For the past few weeks, my emotions have been controlling my actions and thoughts. I've been so bitter, angry, and depressed. 

This really isn't who I am. I haven't been able to write or read, which I LOVE to do. I've tried everything to change my mood, but it just doesn't seem to work. I've tired to busy myself in cleaning, but that doesn't work either. I'm at the point where I really don't care what the house looks like. Right now, it's a total mess. Toys from Christmas are cluttering the living room floor, there's a basket of laundry that needs put away, a load of laundry that needs folded, and odds-n-ends laying about. I hate it, but I don't have the drive to fix this.

I honestly feel like I'm failing God by allowing this to happen. I want nothing more than to follow Jesus the best I can, but I feel that it's not good enough. I'm so lost.

I've tried to open up to those around me, but I don't think they can understand. 

I feel like I have strayed from God. As an example, I let anger get the best of me and I flipped out on two people who were only trying to help me. 

"OH LORD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! MY HEART IS BROKEN AND I'VE ALLOWED MY EMOTIONS TO CONTROL MY ACTIONS."

I believe a good bit has to do with last month not being successful with getting pregnant. I know that if another baby is in my future, I'll be blessed when the time is right, but it's so hard to have hope sometimes.

I've always been they type of person who has hope in the future when I know of what it is & when it will happen.

One thing I plan on doing is following my resolutions I've made for the New Year to the best of my ability. This way I have something to work on and look forward to. I'm sure the list (located to the left) will grow, but this is a start. I've never actually followed my lists, but I really want to try. Perhaps, if I focus on other's and be a blessing to someone else...then the pain I live in daily won't hurt so much. 

I think God has a lesson for me to learn before He blesses me with my Rainbow Baby! I think he may want me to learn how to have Faith when I don't know the future or what lies ahead. I've heard myself say so many times... "How can I have hope in something when I have no idea if it will happen?"

This is the thing... THAT'S NOT FAITH!!!

Faith isn't hoping God will. It's knowing he will!

I need to learn this and truly believe it. So, that's another goal. WORK ON MY FAITH! I will push all negative away. I will not accept the bitterness, anger, hurt, or pain anymore. I will control it. Not the other way around. I'm tired of being a hostage to myself. 

In closing, I pray for a joyous and happy filled new year for myself and for the person who is reading this. 

What is on your resolution list?

2014 Resolutions & Goals

Each year I happen to make these lists. Most of the time I am like everyone else... I don't keep up with them. Well, I'll be posting my list here and then on the side of the blog as a reminder for the entire year.

I am praying for happiness, joy, and laughter for the 2014 New Year. This past year included too many tears and sadness.

So, here is my list:

1. Let go of what doesn't contribute to my own happiness. (This includes people who only caused heartache.)

2. Build my relationship with Christ. (This includes daily Bible study and going more to Him in prayer.)

3. Complete my Bible study on Angels.

4. BE ON TIME!! (I am never on time for anything. In 2012 when I got married, I was an hour late for the ceremony. Therefore, I am going to bust my rear end and be on time.)

5. Publish the two books I am in the process of writing.

6. Catch up on my review list of books for my book blog.

7. Spend less time on the internet and more time with my family. (My writing takes a lot of time, but I won't allow it to consume me this year.)

Last on my list... 

I have an old mason jar that I plan on using for the entire year. As the year goes by, anything that I would consider is a blessing... I'll write it down on a piece of paper and add it to the jar. This can include any goals I meet, surprise gifts, "LOL" moments, memories worth saving, etc. All good will be noted and put into the jar. This way at the end of 2014, I can pull out the notes and read at how the Lord blessed me during the year.

What is in your plans for 2014?

I'm Back!!!!!

I know it's been a while since I have taken the time to write on this blog. Actually, it's been well over a year. So much has happened to me and I'm going to take a moment and catch everyone up with what I've been up to.

The last time I wrote, I told everyone that I had gotten married and we had a special Souvenir from the Pocono's.

So I'll start off with saying that I am now a mommy to two beautiful little girls. I'm an author of two books that's been published and I'm in the process of writing a third. My pregnancy was a roller coaster that ended in heartache. I'll touch base with that in another post.

But for now I just wanted to let you all know that I have returned. I won't be doing reviews or product giveaways on this blog. I'll be using this blog as my own personal online journal that I'm allowing the world to follow.

So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and relax while you enter the world that I have been forced to live in.

Half Way There.....

If you've been following along with my blog (that I've terribly neglected the past few days) you'll know the fight I have been going through the past few years. If not, I encourage you to take a look at them. I've shared every aspect of the struggle and I'd even like to believe that I've inspired a few out there.

So the reason for this post is to announce that as of today, I'm two weeks away from this process being over. As long as everything works out right, I should have my brand new dentures on Jan 31. Last Wednesday and today have been my latest appointments. On Jan. 11, the denture process started. I went to make the first impression for them. It was uncomfortable but a relief all in one. Today I went back and tried out the wax version of the impression to get the measurements perfect. The first impression was made into a wax impression where they melted the wax down to fit my mouth. I also got to pick out the shade of white for my "teeth".

It feels so great. I never thought this process would ever be here. And here I am. Excited. To give you the very brief look into the past, I'll share a photo with you with how bad my teeth were (as well as my health) due to my teeth. It's very important to take care of them. (Which I did but had no control due to other health issues) So, here I am in Nov of last year right before my surgery:

Every tooth in my mouth was bad. I couldn't eat solid foods and cold foods/drinks hurt. I couldn't really brush them either due to them being so brittle. When I was born, I was sick. The meds they gave me ate the enamel off of my teeth. So, it didn't matter how much I took care of them... they'd still end up like this.....

After about 5 years of fighting, I now look like this. And I'm proud of it. I got my life back. Yes it was at the cost of my teeth but it's the best thing I ever did. I have no regrets.

I absolutely love this picture. The next photo of me will be right after I put in the finished dentures at the dentist office. So, I wanted to thank everyone who supported me in the process. And for those who look at these pictures and judge them..... I pray that one day you will have the ability to understand. I also would suggest you reading the post I did a while ago titled..."Think before you speak."


I am proud of who I am and what I look like. This journey has shown me not to judge others by their looks because you have no idea what they are going through, it's taught me to be thankful for everything in my life (both little and big), and it's taught me exactly what happiness feels like. AND IT FEELS GREAT!!!!


Thanks so much for reading. I really hope this post has touched you in some way and made a difference in your life.

I selected this post to be featured on www.topmommyblogs.org. Please visit the site and vote for my blog!