Week 35- High Risk and Stressed

I had another appointment today. Today's outcome wasn't what we were hoping for. During last weeks visit, I had the hopes that our prayers were being answered with the polyhydramnios. We got the news that the amniotic fluid hasn't decreased this week, it actually went up to the highest it's been so far. 

I went into the ultrasound first and I noticed that the fluid pockets they measure looked as if there were more fluid. But...hey... what do I know? I'm not a pro at reading those things, so I didn't allow it to worry me until I spoke with the doctor. 

Of course, Mr. wasn't up for another day of play with the ultrasound. He was rather laid back for the appointment. I personally like when he's hanging out and not doing what they need him to do right away because I enjoy watching him. It's really the only peace of mind I have for the moment. As I watch my little guy wiggle his fingers or suck on his fist, I can see that he's all right for the moment. Of course, deep down inside I know that can change at any moment and that scares me. 

I asked the tech what the fluid looked like and she was able to give me the number. After doing the math and whatnot, it came out to 28. I only know that this is considered high because when it was at 26.4, I was diagnosed with the polyhydramnios. Once again, I'm not a doctor so I didn't know exactly what this meant but my ease went out the window. I was right. The fluid increased. 

Once they were done with his testing, I went back out to the waiting room. It took everything I had to hold back my tears. The fear and anxiety of losing my baby came back. With the issues, I had no idea what we were about to face. I remembered the doctor saying that if the fluid got too high, there'd be a hospital stay in my future. I'm praying that I don't have to go to the hospital before being in labor. I also remembered them saying that if the situation got too bad, then they would induce. Baby boy has to stay in there until at least 37 weeks for him to be considered full term. Therefore, the wait to meet with the doctor took its toll on my nerves.

Once we got back there, the doctor said baby boy himself looked to be doing well. As for the fluid, I need to keep taking it easy with the bed rest and keep doing the kick counts. I'm more in tune to my body and baby boy now then I have ever been before. I need to be sure I feel him kicking all the time. If at any time the contractions I have become even slightly uncomfortable, I'm to head off to labor and delivery. If I feel winded at all while at rest, this too warrants a trip to L&D. 

All these changes are very overwhelming. Then, add on the fears of what's to come. Yes, I am a believer in Christ and I do have faith. However, I am human and not perfect. This worry will NEVER go away until I am holding my son. Even after it will be there because I will always fear if

another one of my children will be next. Therefore, telling me to calm down won't really help. That's one thing I love about my doctors, they have yet to tell me not to stress or worry. Their right beside me doing the same thing.

Now I'm scheduled to go back in on Thursday for another non-stress test and an unscheduled ultrasound. They want to double check the fluid to see what happens within the few days between appointments. If we hit the 37 week goal, the doctors will watch to see when baby boy can safely enter the world. This is when we'll start talking about inducing me. If I were to go into labor now on my own, they don't plan on stopping the labor. Both of these options scare me because their are risks to both sides. 

Well... that's the update for now. If I find out anything new this week, I'll post it here with another update. 

Thank you to every person who has been praying for us. We greatly appreciate it. Love to all.