Pre-Conception Appointment is Scheduled

Well, even though the decision was tough, I finally mustered the guts to call the doctor. My husband and I are ready for our rainbow baby. We have been eagerly waiting for this time of the year. The last meeting I had with my doctor, he said that we would check in after summer and at the beginning of fall to see if I was physically ready to carry another baby.

As of yesterday, I called and made the appointment. To my surprise, they scheduled it for October 31, 2013. When I heard the woman say this date, my breath caught in my throat. This was the same day I found out I was pregnant with Dakota, only it was last year.

After a while of thinking, I realized that it's not the same. I won't be going in to confirm a pregnancy. I'll be going in to see if I can get pregnant and see if my body is ready for it.  I'm really nervouse about the appointment. I'm worried that my doctor will tell us we have to wait even longer.

I just want my rainbow baby. My heart aches when I hear of someone else being pregnant or hearing that someone just had a baby. So far, the youngest baby I can be around is about 9-12 months old. If I come in contact with a baby younger, I can't talk, touch, or even look at the little one. It hurts too bad. Once I'm out of view of people, I break and cry. It's a rough journey, and I can't wait for the day happiness returns for me.