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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Woman in the Mirror by RaeBeth McGee-Buda

The woman in the mirror no longer sees herself as complete. The self awareness she had is all but gone. She hates looking at herself within this mirror, as it makes her realize she hasn't brushed her hair or done her makeup. It reminds her that the clothes she has on, they were on yesterday too. Waking up and getting out of bed is pretty much all she can do. 

She used to know who she was and what she looked like.

She once knew the feeling of true happiness and joy.

She once knew on what path she was headed.

When the woman looked in the mirror, she saw a strong willed person who was complete. She had a daughter and was newly married. She was expecting her second baby. She loved herself and the world around her. She was confident. She took pride in her appearance. She knew her goals and met them. She dreamed dreams of her future. The future which was exciting to her.

The woman that now looks back at me has changed. She looks fragile and broken. She looks incomplete. She's no longer expecting. She looks sad, mad, and disappointed. It looks as if she's having a hard time loving the world around her. Her confidence has disappeared and the pride in her appearance is frail. Her goals has changed, as well as her dreams. Her future is scary and unappealing.

She sees the red and puffiness around her eyes from crying. She sees the lines coming from her eyes and the hurt within them.

People would disagree with the woman in the mirror. Most would say she's coping well. She is very strong and inspiring. She's managing better than they could have imagined. However, the woman in the mirror skilled and knows how to pretend.

People don't realize how much energy it takes to pretend. In reality, she's breaking down sobbing because she is shattered. As she breaks down, she's barely able to breathe while her husband can only hold her. These people don't see the medication she has to taken in order to sleep or even function during the day.

Her dreams and hopes are hidden beneath the surface within her heart. But they are not what she focuses on. She's afraid that at any moment, her breath of life will be taken from her, leaving her alone. She fears her oldest daughter will be next or the new life that she may end up conceiving.

This girl in the mirror will never be the same. For she suffered one thing in life which has taken a piece of her soul. Life for the woman in the mirror will never be the same. For she has suffered through a stillbirth and her baby gaining wings. Her future now consists of worry, fear, and anger and she's afraid of what it may bring.

~Broken Mommy~


  1. Beautiful, sounds just like me

  2. Love this. I have no other words to express. Just beautiful and after reading your story I can tell this poem matches you and your feelings.


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