A Letter to my Butterfly

My Darling Dakota,

I hope this letter finds you doing well. I've been thinking of you a lot lately. My heart aches for you and my arms long to hold you. I know that in time those wants will be fulfilled. Our Lord knows what he is doing and I trust that he's keeping you up to date with how things are going for us.

I wanted to talk with you about a few things. First, I want to say thank you. You have done so much for me when you were here. I don't even think you realized. I know five months ago, I didn't realize it at all. It took me until just recently to feel the way I do. Yes, I miss you like crazy and I'll never stop missing you. However, it helps me to know that you're safely tucked in Jesus' arms while he gently passed a kiss to you from me.

You have made me a much stronger person than what I was. Dakota you helped me to not be afraid of death and of life. I was very much afraid about what was to come. Now, when I think of my future, I feel peace because you have taught me not to fear. You calmly left this earth and entered the gates of heaven. I never knew and I still don't know around the time that you slipped away. I would like to think that you took a nap, and didn't wake to my voice, but you woke to our Lords voice and his angel choir.  You opened your eyes for the first time outside of me to the beautiful face of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Dakota, honey, you brought me to God. So, thank you. I wasn't sure what this new life was going to be like when I found out that I had to say goodbye, but I can assure you... it's going to be grand. I know the Lord has my best at heart and he'll only ever do what's in my best interest.

Did you know honey, that your sister misses you dearly? She talks to you often. I pray you hear her and you help Jesus comfort her. She looked forward to having you here, but I know you're life mission was fulfilled even before you left the comfort of my womb. Please keep an eye on her. She's a very strong little girl who has shown me so much within the past few months. Both of you have.

I am doing better now but there are still times where I cry out for you. The heartache is just so much and I know it's okay. I'm only human and that's what we were created to do. I do hope you visit often.

Give Grandma Poole and Uncle Bob a kiss for me. Tell them I miss them dearly too. It must be great to get to meet them. You've met my grandmother before I did. What type of woman is she? I heard so many great stories from our family here about her. Hug her from me and I surely hope I am making her one proud Grandma.

Take Care Baby Girl. I love you so so so much.
Until next time,

Love
Mommy