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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy 6th Month Angelversary

I never thought I would have to plan part of our Holiday at a cemetery. I feel horrible because today is Dakota's 6 month angelversary and tomorrow is Thanksgiving. My husband has planned a trip to his Mom's for this holiday. It hurts so bad to think that here in a few hours, I'll be packing up the car and leaving for the next few days.

My husband decided to have a small celebration with Dakota for Thanksgiving before we leave. We will add new decorations to her grave and then play her song, while we release the balloon he got for her.

Oh, how I wish I was packing a diaper bag, instead of packing these decorations into a shopping back to take to the cemetery! At moments like this, I often find myself asking why? I feel like I am leaving her behind and like I'll be forgetting about her. I have prayed many times within the past few weeks for the strength to get through this.

One we go to the cemetery to release the balloon, we will be heading off to LeHighton! I'm not thrilled about it and I can't help it. No matter what I try to do to cheer myself up... It doesn't happen.


Later on...

We stopped by and decorated Dakota's grave. A few of my family members have assured me that they'll be stopping by tomorrow for Thanksgiving. My Mom even said she has something to add in to our decorations. My heart is heavy now. I cried the hardest today while standing beside Dakota's grave in a long time. I played the same song that was played during the funeral. As I watched the balloon go higher into the sky, the harder I cried. I just wanted to drop to my knees and stay with her. I never want to leave her. I want her back!

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